DISNEYLAND

Jeff and I spent Saturday enjoying Disneyland through the eyes of our grandchildren Capri and JD. Donatella was also there for us to hold and enjoy, and both Grandpa and I took our turns with that. Having seen Disneyland now more times than I could ever count up, and been on all the rides to the point that I know by heart all their twists and turns, and add to it the fact that it now costs an absolutely ridiculous amount to just enter the gates, food and drink on the day could practically beggar you, the confusion and noise of the crowd, the lines, and the marathon walking that makes my knees throb, there is really precious little there to lure me in anymore. But experiencing their delight as they discover all the magic and fun that make Disneyland the place it is, is well worth every penny and every little ache and pain. They were quite simply just adorable. One of my highlights on the day was when JD met Buzz Lightyear. Now JD had come dressed as Buzz and we heard at least 100 times on the day just how darling everyone found him in his little outfit. He never doubted for a single second that he was meeting the REAL Buzz Lightyear...haha He was actually a little afraid of him I think but it didn't keep him from going up to him for a hug and a high five. The "real" Buzz put on quite the show when he spotted JD to the amusement of everyone around. It was really cute. Capri, so enjoyed her adventure through the castle, (which I never did see and had actually never seen before) she managed to get her daddy to take her through it 4 times in a row. haha She rode with me on the Buzz Lightyear ride and at one point whispered to me, "Grandma, I don't think I like this ride...Let's close our eyes" It was just soooo cute. She was also quite cute in the Tiki room as she hummed and clapped along. They were both REALLY good on the day and simply enjoyed their time through a world of make believe fun. Grandma was sore for sure but the memory of their little faces will stay with me for a long long time...

THROUGH A KIDS EYES

Jackie's birthday party yesterday was really a very nice day, and I had so much fun watching all the kids enjoy it...I personally saw and heard soo many cute things they said and did, I'll remember it for a while...JD's "show" of how a fish swims was both adorable and a pretty good demo of how it really works, but then most of what he does and says is adorable...haha Donatella and Cody were both very good at their first big family birthday party. Capri was giddy with her "goody bag" and was so perky as she told me all it held...Jackie was so happy with her gifts and I got the biggest kick out of how she would thank people just for the card...Little Jeff was sooo sweet because he was so excited to see Jackie open the gift that "he" had picked out, and said with such delight when she was pleased, "I just KNEW she would love it!"...They were all so cute on the rides. Lindsey, Annabel and Katie were hysterical on the roller coaster and made it look so fun I was actually tempted to get on and ride it. My back is probably glad I didn't. Blake was really sweet with little Jeff and I think the two of them may have begun a little friendship. I have a few pics of them to show you, though they don't do justice to how cute they really looked....Kids just make life seem like it is so simple. Their enthusiasm and pleasure is contagious and for me sometimes I really wish we could view things the simple way they do...

A BEAUTIFUL DAY

I have moved one of the blue chairs in my living room to my family room, because it helps me to sit up straighter therefore easing some of the pressure on my lower back, which unfortunately is still bothering me. In case anyone thinks that I have actually MOVED the chair to this room so as to keep the vacuum lines in my carpet undisturbed by not being in there everyday in order to use the chair, let me assure you this is not the case. lol The chair in the family room gives me the added bonus of it being here at night while I am watching TV...All of my kids are VERY aware that I never watch TV during the day. I can't even really stand the sound of it on in the background. I find it depressing for some reason. Now in case you think I feel that way coming into your home, let me assure you I don't. As a matter of fact, when I find it on in someones home during the day I am usually secretly pleased as there is something "homey" and comfortable about it and I quickly am swept into the feel. ANYWAY, all of this is not what I even wanted to blog about, haha.....Today is such a beautiful day that I have my sliding glass door open and I am sitting in my chair in my new spot which is right by the door. I have been in and out of the chair as I am working laundry (was way behind on Chuck's) and in between I have been doing my bible study for Friday, answering my e-mails which I am sooo behind on, and occasionally popping on here to see if I am missing anything. I have found myself so relaxed with the "feel" of the out doors, I have contemplated a brief nap...haha Let me just try and describe it all for you. First off, there is a wonderfully cool breeze blowing gently through the screen. The afternoon sun is reflecting off the pool water that is crystal clear as the pool man was just here yesterday afternoon. There is a humming bird that flicks in and out of the picture as it looks for something to eat. Everywhere I gaze is filled with trees and flowers in bloom. I have found myself planning ahead to what I should do with the pots in the backyard for spring, which is clearly in the air. I hear at least two different kinds of birds chirping somewhat frantically, as though they can be understood by all who hear them...and in the background I hear the slow hum of the traffic out on Mountain as the cars swoosh by on their way to somewhere important. It is both familiar and comforting for some reason. Elvis has taken up his post laying by the screen door, no doubt pleased to be "by" someone, even if it is only me...he occasionally reports what he finds necessary with a bark or two, but mainly he is content to lay peacefully in slumber. Occasionally, all is silent but the slow clicking of the clock on the fireplace mantle. I was struck with a thought as I was enjoying all of this....How is it that there are people in this world who are convinced there is no God?? When you only have to look around at His creation, and the tiny little details that it includes, it makes it seem to me like there is no way you could ever deny His existence. From the smallest of insects to the tallest of trees...I am also always struck by this when I sit on the beach. The crashing of the surf on the shore is one of my favorite sounds, and the smell of the sea water in the air is beyond description in it's perfectness. I think I am going to purchase a chair very much like this one and put it permanently here in this spot. We can always use the extra seating whenever everyone is here as well, and then I have a feeling this spot will become a "new" favorite of mine...I think maybe I will take that brief nap now...

MY LATEST DECISION ON BLOGGING

I guess I cannot quite decide what to do, so I am going to type it out and "see" where I end up. I think that Jeff and all of my kids are painfully aware, that when I am in doubt, I write....when I am upset, I write.... when I am excited or happy, I write, and when I think "someone" (doesn't matter who) needs to hear what I think, feel etc., they are bound to get one of my famous letters, though they are more frequently than not, never sent...that's both the bonus of this blog, and the problem with it for me. EVERYTHING is getting written that I have any thought or feelings on whatsoever....I find myself either CONSTANTLY stalking around on here, or formulating my next comment on whatever debate I seem to find myself in at that moment, anxiously waiting when I can post it while I am busy with something else. It's becoming somewhat obsessive for me...Imagine that, me obsessive. haha And the sad part is not that I have nothing else to do, I have plenty believe me, just that I am choosing to do this.....And for the limit, I am not really finding what I originally intended to be finding in this blog as well. I saw it as much more light weight, and general. I saw it as an opportunity to write about some things that I find interesting and about some things I that I have been feeling lately. But considering most of which I write about draws little comment from most of you anyway, I am not nearly as interesting as I thought I was. haha And while I have obviously found the same things interesting as the rest of you have, it has resulted in LONG debates about subjects sometimes that I am not really even really very passionate about....I just love to "hash" I guess and this has ended up being a place where it is certain to get done. However, unfortunately I have discovered that I most definitely greatly annoy people on here. At first I thought I was being singled out coincidentally, but now I am not too sure. Why is it that is usually my head that is obviously annoying and upsetting people?? And no one will convince me that I am not the main source of annoyance for people. Others are occasionally annoying I guess as well, but I'm pretty much always right there.....as Mel always points out (quite correctly I think) where there is smoke there is probably fire. So, I can only conclude that I am indeed annoying, rather I intend to be or not.....So, what to do....do I simply stop blogging altogether??? Do I simply stay off the "debating" blogs? Do I limit the amount of comments I can make in one day?? Do I only write my blog and not comment anywhere else for any reason?? Do I continue to go out of my way (as I thought I was) to try not to annoy people and still say what I have to say?? I have considered every one of these possibilities. And just as soon as I settle into one, I think of reasons why I shouldn't do that. I think for now, I am going to go with the one where I simply don't comment at all on any of the "debater" type blogs. That way I won't hopefully be quite so obsessive in my blogging, and I will stop annoying people needlessly with my LONG (as every one of my kids has pointed out to me more than once, and not just on here, but verbally haha)comments and replies. We will see on how successful I am with this. I will probably have to duck tape my lips shut, or maybe I should stay tie my fingers up, as I know it will not be easy....haha Goodness knows I've always plenty to say, and I'm not afraid to say what I think....Welp, I think I have managed to type out my feelings on this, so I am going to definitely get busy now and DO the things I need to do.....I love you all.......

A SMALL GLIMPSE....

Well, Jeff and I and John had a VERY different Sun afternoon. It started off with us trying to come up something different to do with our afternoon since there just didn't seem to be any movie out that we really felt like seeing....John suggested going to the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles...He and Jeff had both been there before, but I had never been and it is something I have always wanted to do. So we loaded up and headed out to LA. We couldn't get into the museum until 3 as they have limited space and only let so many in at once. We had lunch at Canters which is a Jewish Deli in Hollywood which added to our "feel" of the day. It is very much like Katella Deli for those of you who have never heard of it. I guess it is quite famous, but I will admit I had never heard of it. Anyway, the food was GREAT....I had a half of a Turkey Salad sandwich and a cup of chicken noodle soup. They had HUGE wonderful pickles which they brought out a plate of. We left there and still had a little time so we drove around for a bit in West LA and looked at some houses etc. We actually ended up going through an open house. It was actually a nice little house but was really quite small. 3 bedrooms, 2 baths and pretty small living room. They were asking the rock bottom price of a million one...haha I honestly couldn't believe it. Anyway, we finally headed over to the Museum. They had to search my purse and actually took out of pack of unopened gum and made me throw it away before they put in through the medal detector to let me in. It never occurred to me that we would have to go through security to get in, but when I thought about it of course it made sense. Anyway, we didn't have time to go through the Holocaust part and hear a lecture by an actual survivor. John had heard a survivor speak before and said it was really an unforgettable experience, and for me it was a no brainer from the beginning. I REALLY wanted to hear the survivor talk. So we sent Jeff to save us seats (he had been through the Museum part before but had not heard the lecture)and John and I looked around for a bit. We didn't get into the Holocaust area, but we saw a number of other really neat things. When we got to the lecture area of course there was Jeff talking to some woman who turned out to the wife of the survivor. I sat down next to her and got to chat with her for at least 20 min or so before it started. She was SUCH a neat lady. She was warm, friendly and I loved her accent. She told me they had 3 grown daughters and 6 grandchildren. Anyway, he eventually came in and told his story. I was in no way prepared for how truly moving it really was. He was only 13 years old when he was taken off, along with his mother and father and two brothers. One of his brothers was older and the other was about 4 years younger. The things they all went through had a completely different feel hearing about it first hand. How horrible it all really was. He was the only one in his family to survive. His mother and little brother were put to death almost immediately, and he and his brother and dad were together for a little while, but they were taken away and he never saw them again. He found out later how they were killed, but he didn't say what it was. So much of what was going on they really didn't know, as all they really had to report things with was the radio and newspapers, which of course they had no access to. They would eventually hear things, but it was long after it had actually happened. He went through a total living hell. The things he saw were unspeakable, and they were basically starving the entire time. Death was everywhere. He had a few what I would call miraculous escapes and breaks that helped him to become a survivor. I guess he is one of the youngest survivors as they automatically murdered all the children. They were considered pointless as were most of the women and elderly. His outlook on life was inspiring, and pointed out once again how none of us even really knows the true meaning of the word suffering in comparison. It's truly mind boggling that any of these people survived to tell their stories. I guess he speaks there twice a month, and use to speak at Universities and some other smaller schools when he was younger. It amazes me that he is willing to talk about it all so frequently, keeping it all so fresh in his mind. But he said he felt like it was his duty to do so, as God allowed him to survive for this reason. He wanted to re-build his family as he was left with nothing and no one. He was often emotional during his speech, and his wife who sat next to me cried openly. There was a young German man there who was struggling with English during the question and answer time. He said he had just recently come to our country and how grateful he was to be able to come and hear his story. It is not taught or spoken of in Germany much at all. He was VERY emotional as well, and apologized for his people and said he was so ashamed to call himself German. The survivor was really good with him and told him he held no grudges against him. The German asked if he could hug him, and so they did. Few were not moved to tears. Afterwards Jeff and John and I went up (many people were) to hug him and speak to him for a moment. His wife and I hugged after it was over as well. It was an experience I will no doubt remember for the rest of my life. It made me feel like I had just a tiny little glimpse into the horror of what was truly one of the worst experiences mankind has ever been through. I will never forget his wife either, and the warm way she said to me as I was leaving..."May God always richly bless you."

RANDOM

I just have a couple of quick things....First of all I discovered a wonderful way to order pictures which you all probably already know about, but was definitely "new" for me...As you know, I just recently (a week ago I think) FINALLY got Melody's wedding pic negatives on three separate DVD's...there are literally 2,000 pics on there which is of course perfectly asinine. What on earth I could have possibly been thinking I can't be sure. I had two photographers who were both there for 8 hours I guess, which of course explains the abundance of pics. Anyway, it has made going through these pics and organizing them in any way, getting the ones printed that I want, and blowing some up etc., has been quite the little chore. I had decided I was getting them done at Costco as I have heard they have the best prices and do the best job.. Sooo, I went in last week and after 25 full minutes on their little photo thing I had not even downloaded half of one CD let alone picked any out etc.etc. So I took my disc and exited wondering what I would ever do. Now mind you we also already got our favorite 300 pics as 5 X 7's, 2 stunning 8 x 10's, a giant 16 x 20 and Mel's digital book which is truly in orbit...it was really good. So truthfully I was thinking, call it a wrap and don't print anymore. I got 2 really nice wedding albums that hold 24 pics a piece that I put my fav. 5 x 7's in, and that could just be that. But the problem was I didn't get any 8 x 10's to set up in my house, and there were just other pics that I really did want. I wanted to develop my fav's as 4 x 6's and just have them in a album. Sooooo I ended up going on-line and ordering my pics from Costco from the comfort and convenience of my own house. It was perfect. Like I said, I am sure you all have done this, but it was such a bonus for me. It did take over two hours for the first disc to download just the 120 pics I picked from it. The disc held over 700 pics...but it was all sooo easy. Then I picked my blowups from that which were just a couple. I have also done disc 3 which was faster as it only had around 400 pics on it and I only picked around 50...with no blowups. Which only leaves disc 2 which is the biggest disc, but I don't think it will have all that many I will want....so I am about done. The pics for a bonus are ready the next day..Does anybody know where I can get a decent photo album that will hold around 300 pics?? I really want them all to be in the same one, but I guess it is not critical...I of course also made the wedding video slide show that is here on my blog page that you have seen from these pics.. Jeff printed me and Mel & mom (if you want it) copies from it from the computer and they came out perfectly. I was quite perky on that too....I certainly have enough pics to remember the day...haha OH, and I almost forgot, I downloaded the program that I used to make her cookbook with yesterday on the computer too, and I planning on making a nice book out of my fav's as well. This is VERY fun to do, and the books are really relatively inexpensive. I can make one for around 35 or 40 bucks, whereas to buy the digital book like Mel got would cost around 1500 dollars which is perfectly and utterly ridiculous. We got it as part of a package deal which was greatly discounted in addition by the place where her wedding was at, or it would have been out.... I can't believe I've written out this long and I am sure quite boring little story....lol...Anyway, I also just wanted to say that Jessie came over today to see about John helping her with her advertising brochure and a web page. He only talked with her for a few minutes and is going to get something together for her and let her see it in a day or two. I felt bad that Jess drove all the way out for such a short conference, but I am soo glad she did. I had such a nice, long chat and visit with her...We were able to get lunch and I drilled her on her friends, and life. I found the whole thing very interesting, and in some ways it's like having Mel around as they have such similar "feels". haha Jess and I see many things eye to eye. She has grown into such a wonderful young woman. Funny, caring, and hard working and responsible. Danae, I am sure you are very proud of her, and you should be. Thanks for such a nice day Jess....

BITTERSWEET

Well, the visits over...I've just returned from dropping her at the airport and I can't say I'm feeling real perky. It's always such a weird feeling...from the minute she gets in that car until the moment she gets back out, it is honestly as if she never left. I wonder when it will eventually change, as it no doubt will.
Eventually it will seem much more regular that she is gone, than that she never left...I've no doubt I've beat this to death with anyone who can hear my droning voice to now reading my typed words, so I will "try",and keep this nipped. I try and squeeze as many moments into these visits that I can so I will have enough to get me by until she's back. The time of course squealed by (as I knew it would) and I felt like I hadn't really had her to myself for any big length of time. When we picked her up (LATE) Wed., John and Jeff were with me and we came straight home and went straight to bed. The next morning we drove out to Jessie's for the hair pop, which took most of the day and by the time we got home we had about an hour (if that) before Jeff was home and we left to meet John for dinner. When we got back, Mel left to meet her friend Jen B. for frozen yogurt, and then Mel headed over to Mike's best friends Ben house where Tim, and Ed and Mike's sister Brooke had all gathered for a little get together. The next morning, Mel left early to get her nails done (she's yet to find a place in Hobbs she really likes, so she always does that here for a little treat) and then picked up our books for me and we had Bible study and lunch. When that was over, Mel needed to shower and get ready for her night, and we had a "little" time for a hash before she left. She met Joanna and Amanda and Cindy & Taylor for dinner and then they all headed over to Cindy's house to play their famous Catchphrase, and to have dessert. Amanda came back with her to spend the night as she had come all the way down from Bakersfield and it was too far to drive back that night. Then the next morning she got up and dressed and went and had breakfast with Katie and got back maybe 15 min. or so before Jimmy and his fam. landed in for the day. Joe and & his arrived around 4:30, and it was well after 10 before everyone left and we all headed off to bed beat. Now we were to Sun., and I was feeling like when was "my" time going to be..... but that was when Mel and & I FINALLY sat down in the upstairs chairs with our tea and coffee cups and hashed and chewed for almost 3 hours.....it was just like old times (though we never used to sit there that long) and was quite wonderous....then, Mel and I headed out to have lunch with Mike's mom...and upon arriving back from that, Mel headed out to meet Jenny Cade at her new apartment and visit with her. By the time she got back, we headed straight out for Joe's house for dinner. He had invited us the night before, and it worked for all of us, so we did. Leah made Spaghetti and Meatballs and it was really good....we got home around 9 and turned on John and mine's famous "Big Love" show hoping we could hook Mel on, which I think we might have. haha We headed off to bed and she had to leave by 6:45 this morning and that is it.....I enjoyed it all very much, especially the time the whole fam. was together on Sat.....but it went so fast. It always does. I'm sitting here in the left over mess dreading picking it all up and putting it away, not only because I'm lazy and can't bear it, but because it just makes it MORE all over if you know what I mean. Mel enjoyed herself but was ready to go.....she was missing Mike, and he was done with the whole thing....haha It is all as it should be..everyone is where they belong for now, living their lives and doing what we were meant to do.....I honestly think I am the only one who looks around at the toys still laying around, the dishes waiting to be done, the unmade bed she scurried out of this morning and the bathroom trash full of her make-up q-tips and cotton balls (which I haven't seen since she was here at Christmas time) in a bathroom that usually sets unused now that she is gone, and wonder how it all went by so fast and how it is that she not only really doesn't live here anymore...but has moved so far away. I did just eat the last bowl of the cereal we got her, so that's officially that...haha I'm going to do my best to just be grateful she was here, not whine about how long it might be before I see her again, (though it could be a while) be grateful for all of those who I do have right here for me to see whenever I would like to, and be happy with all the Lord has blessed me with, but I think it might take me at least a day or two....

A GOOD FEEL

As you can see, I have changed my background and colors once again...I just can't seem to settle in to my "feel" haha.....I don't think this is it either, so it will probably change again pretty soon. There is just something I love about putting colors together and a theme etc. I guess I am just a frustrated designer. I guess I don't really have much to say (can ya stand it Jim??) but I know I probably won't be writing many blogs while Mel is here, though I am sure I will come on and snort around...so I thought I should get one out today. I am very excited Mel is coming... (a definite good feel)but I am afraid as usual she has every minute accounted for. All her friends want to see her too, (imagine that) and while I do get the lion's share of the time, I do have to share. I guess I don't really mind, as I know Mel has missed all of them a great deal. But it does make the time fly by. But I promised myself I wouldn't whine and look for the dark cloud, so I'd best get on another point. It's funny, the minute she gets in that car and we drive off chatting it's like she never left. Such a wonderful thing. Maybe it's because the two of us drove around in that car on more hashes and chews then either of us could ever count. I wonder if that will ever change?? Nina just left and I love the feel of a freshly cleaned house. I know how fortunate I am to have her and believe me I am grateful..my back is still bothering me, (though it has improved some, though pretty slowly) and I honestly just don't think I could do it anymore. The house is just too big. And you would think it would stay pretty clean with just me and Jeff and Chuck, (and Elvis) but somehow it never does. Anyway, it's a good feel. I am sitting in my bedroom typing this and it is almost 6 and it is still light outside. I love that. Another good feel. There's some kids out front playing basketball and I love the sound of them too. Brings back memories of my kids playing out front. Many a basketball game was played in that driveway. Funny, at the time I didn't really appreciate the noise and confusion, but I miss it now. Hopefully, everyone will be well this week-end so that my family can all get together. It doesn't happen alot anymore, and everyone looks forward to when we can. I am anxious to see all the grand kids and I love when my kids are all together and we all just hang out with no particular reason that we are together that needs to be addressed. Usually it's a birthday, or Christmas, or something, and there never seems to be enough time to just do nothing but visit when we are on an event of one kind of another. Capri has really been wanting to come to Grandma's (isn't that sweet?) so hopefully it works out for her sake too....Well, this is really a random hash of thoughts with no real purpose, so I guess I will get off. The bookstore just called and my Karen Kingsbury book is in....YEAH.....another good feel. 3 new unread Karen Kingsbury books!!!! I can hardly stand it.....I'm squeeling out to get them...Hope everyone has a great night...