OUR BEST EFFORTS...

Well, today was both my first day to weigh in after a week on Jenny Craig, and Jeffie's very first official swimming lesson....

My weight was been an issue for me on and off pretty much ever since I can remember. I obviously have a combination of things at work here, with the most obvious one being, I LOVE to eat, and I eat too much...I also think some people, do to their own particular metabolisms', gain weight easier than others. I think I have that....Then, some people eat when their emotional...sad, happy, excited, fearful, bored, stressed, etc. I most certainly have that.....Then, some people love going out to eat or getting together with family and friends over food, and I definitely have that too.... I also love to bake and try new recipes...haha Sooo, as you can see I have PLENTY of reasons "WHY" this has always been the case for me...I really wish though I could go back to when I was younger and just "THOUGHT" I was heavy, (and trust me I really wasn't) and could relive those days enjoying what I looked like, instead of always being dissatisfied. I wish I would have told myself then, that having 4 kids wasn't a good enough reason not to be thin. I wish I had actually taken the time and trouble to actually go through the maintenance programs of the diets that I used to lose a GREAT deal of weight in the past. I wish I had stopped myself BEFORE I got high blood pressure, or made my knees sooo painful I can hardly walk around on them, or before I no doubt probably put myself at least on the verge of diabetes.....But, here I am, and the old saying I hate is very applicable... it is what it is.....Soooo again, I am on a diet program....Again, I will have to plan ahead to accommodate what I can or cannot eat, again, I will definitely feel and hear my stomach growl, again, I will have to go months and months doing everything I possible can to get my weight down where it belongs. Again I will tell myself I CAN do it and pray that the Lord will give me the will power and the strength....Again, again, again, you'd think that somewhere, someday I might actually "get it" and not only be done with all this, but never being able to look down and see the numbers on the scale I want to see..

So, I officially lost 4.2 pounds my first week on the program, and I feel pretty good about it. The food is REALLY good, even if the portions are pretty nipped. I was hungry for sure this last week, but not unbearably, so I imagine I will survive. It was hard I am not going to lie....It was annoying carting my food where ever I was going, and not being able to eat out like I enjoy...but I really don't have a choice so I have decided I am going for it. One more time I am going to give it my best effort and get the weight all the way off and then enjoy being the age I really am rather than making myself "old" before I really am...I am going to find a place on my blog page where I will post my weight loss each week (for those of you who read this, haha) and use that as just another way to hold myself accountable. I have found that the more I do things like that the better I am....This is going to take me a long, long time, so I am going to just move along (as I tell my kids) and enjoy the rest of my life and try not to dwell too much on what I am, or am not eating....

Soooo, on a completely other note, little Jeff did very well today. He was very brave, and managed to get in and "move along" with his swim lesson even though he was terrified and started off in tears. He jumped in (holding on to her hands and not letting the water go over his head, but still) and did everything he was asked to do. Grandma was very proud of him....To celebrate this (and OK Leah's Bday a couple of days early) we all went and had lunch at the Rainforest Cafe (me bringing my Jenny Craig salad kit along of course haha). He was such a happy camper there surrounded by all his beloved animals. Tomorrow will probably bring more tears when it's again time to get into the pool, but I know he will give it his best effort, and that's all any of us can do....

A MOVIE CRITIQUE

I just got back from seeing the new movie called, "My Sisters Keeper"....my recommendation would be, DON'T see this movie....I am not sure what I was expecting, as of course I knew it was about a young girl with cancer, but it wasn't what I thought it might be. Not a single minute of it was upbeat, funny, endearing, or pleasant. It took a real life situation and told it in all it's horrifying reality...I felt somewhat sick as I existed the theatre. I LOVE real life movies...I LOVE what I call diligent worker movies where someone against all odds manages to persevere, and ends up triumphing over some nightmarish scenario requiring them to dig deep into their souls and muster up whatever action or emotion that is necessary to achieve that victory. These movies can include death, (what's more real life?) or hours and hours of hard labor or buckets of tears...But this movie, was just too real...It tried to show a moment or two or real life pleasantries, but for me, didn't pull it off. One thing it did make me feel was grateful.....Grateful that I am NOT living a similar life experience...there can't be anything worse than burying your own child. I am also grateful that my life is not without hope. I don't have to wonder (as the people in this movie did) where I will go or what will happen to me, or my loved ones who know the Lord, when we die. I honestly cannot imagine anything more overwhelming hopeless than living this life thinking this is all there is...and sooo many people do. Death is every bit as real as life, but we don't have to live our lives wondering and fearing it. Jesus Christ has conquered the grave and we can KNOW just where we will spend our eternity...

I think I might avoid these kinds of movies in the future and I didn't think I'd ever say that...Life is real enough most of the time and you so rarely see a movie that really presents death from a Christian perspective...I think I will have my new favorite kinds of movies be what I call, la, la, la .....haha

IT'S SUMMERTIME....

Today was my day with Joe and Leah's kids....Joe arrived, breathless and stressed as he had realized he had come without Cody's diaper bag...He really is such a rookie...which really shouldn't be the case since Cody is his 5th kid, but that's another story....Anyway, I head over to their house having decided, much to Jeffie's sorrow, (he does LOVE Grandma's playroom, haha), that I would just watch them at their house today. Upon arriving, I quickly fixed breakfast for Jeffie and Cody and began ordering the other two to clean up. I sent Lindsey to dress and clean her room and make her bed, brush her hair and teeth and to then report. How Mel hated that word "report"...lol I sent Evan to do the dishes, and I dressed Cody and began giving him his bottle hoping he might doze off, as he seemed somewhat cranky...Lindsey had made quick work of her assignments, so I told her to pick up the living room area. Jeffie had disappeared to play some video games (his new love) and Evan was still busy in the kitchen. After Lindsey finished (she did a FANTASTIC job by the way) I told her she was free to go and play until lunch time. She quickly headed out the door to her friend Autumn's house across the street. I got Cody snoozing soundly in his crib, and Evan finished in the kitchen and feed the dog. He and Jeff were now playing video games together in Evan's room. Grandma sat down to catch her breath (I had already done many chores at home before Joe had ever arrived) and picked up a Dobson book that Leah is no doubt reading, sitting on the table by the chair. My mind wandered as I listened to the sound of the dish washer running, and Evan and Jeffie's laughter coming from the bedroom. It was such a typical summer day in the life of a kid. A few chores, and then off to enjoy your day, with really nothing more to do than pass the time. How I LOVED those days, both as a kid myself, and as a parent with my own kids...Hot afternoons spent at the beach with the smell of suntan lotion strong and heavy, and the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, or at the swimming pool full of screaming, laughing kids, splashing and having a good time. Afternoons at the movies watching the summer's biggest hits, snacking on popcorn and sipping ices. A good book and a comfy place to lay and read after the morning at the local library. The smell of a barbecue, watermelon, fresh corn on the cob, and sweet strawberries. Staying up late and sleeping in....friends over to spend the night. 4th of July, and fireworks...Popsicles, running through sprinklers, flowers, road trips and amusement parks. Vacation Bible School and lazy afternoons doing nothing at all...All these things mean summertime to me...It has always been a good memory for me, rather it was as a kid, or as a parent watching a kid, and I'm glad it's here once again. I fixed lunch for all the kids and Cody woke from his LONG nap in a really happy good mood. With his panties changed and fresh bottle in his tummy, he was ready for a little fun. Joe arrived home from his meeting and said, "What have you all been doing?" Really, nothing at all....it's summertime.

FATHERHOOD....

Today, literally millions of men are being honored and pampered for their performances in the role of Fatherhood....

Some 35 years ago when I was just a just a young, teen-age girl, Joe & I were on our own and looking for both a husband for me, and a daddy for him....I had an idea in my head of the kind of man I was looking for that could fulfill one of the most important roles not only in my life, but in the life of Joe and all my future children. I had prayed that God might lead me to just such a man...Shortly after this prayer, I met Jeff.

Right from the very beginning of our relationship it was very obvious to me that I had met a very unique man. His delight and pleasure in spending time with Joe right along with me, let me know his love of kids and his ability of not only performing the duties that come along with a baby, but of entertaining them and making them squeal with sheer joy....Joe quickly became VERY attached to Jeff right along with me, and when we decided to get married a few short months later, I believed Jeff when he told me just how pleased he was to be getting a built in son in the deal. Jeff officially adopted Joe immediately after we married, spending money, which at the time seemed to be a HUGE amount, as he considered it his number one priority. Joe began imitating Jeff in everything he did. His elaborate games of make believe always included the personality traits he admired in his daddy (strength, boldness, and the ability to make things fun) right along with replicas of what Jeff wore in his costumes...Their relationship brought such a warmth to my heart it would be very difficult to describe, as they had both discovered just how special the other really was.....When John and Jimmy were added to our family in the next few years my thankfulness for the man I married continued to grow and grow. To say he was a "hands on" father doesn't really paint the picture fully. There really wasn't anything he didn't do. From changing diapers, taking his turn in the middle of the night feeding a hungry baby, bath time, and numerous times of just totally taking over while I got a much needed break out of the house with a girl friend, he was there. I remember a few hard days with the boys (they were soooo active and wild haha) waiting in the drive way for Jeff to come home from work so I could quickly pass the kids off, and make my get away even if it was only to my own bedroom with the door shut and a good book to have a moment or two of "quiet"....Jeff would not only feed all 3 kids, play with them any game they managed to come up, and would then bathe them and get them all to bed. It was wonderful and no doubt the only reason I managed to get through some of those early difficult years with the boys. They all lived for the moment he got home from work and would come running (literally) from wherever they were to my call of "Daddy's home..." As the boys grew, they all learned to play sports from their dad, and Jeff was not only their biggest fan and supporter, he was often their coach. All of the boys friends loved Jeff too, and always wanted to be included in the games (whatever they might be) along with them, and Jeff always welcomed them in. It got so that wherever we were living all the neighborhood kids would come to the door wanting not only the boys to come out and play, but for them to bring their dad along as well. He played basketball with them, football, baseball, and threw them all around in the pool. He also spent countless hours doing Science Fair projects with them, which was the one school assignment I just couldn't seem to handle. haha....They were legendary at our house, and all of the boys took their turns placing "first" in their contests at school. When we finally added a little girl to our family I had absolutely no doubt that there was never a boy born who had a better father...but a girl was totally an uncharted area for us both. But from the moment that sweet little baby all dressed in pink smiled up at her daddy, he was wrapped around her tiny little finger and there just wasn't a road he wouldn't travel or a mountain he couldn't climb to make her happy and protected...and it hasn't changed to this day. I don't think any little girl ever born could have had a better daddy. He was her hero and biggest fan all rolled into one. From the house he built her to "play" in when she was only 3, to the thousands of dollars and literally countless hours spent on softball for years and years, never missing a practice or a game, to his total and complete support the moment she decided she had enough, to the patience and never a complaint spoken when she and I would disappear for HOURS (leaving him alone at home with Elvis) on our long drives and "hashes" when she was in high school, to the beautiful and memorable wedding he paid for with not so much as a question, he was there... And I haven't even mentioned the breakfasts on a tray, the going to fill her car with gas for her WHENEVER that might be needed, the money he'd hand her whenever she might say, "daddy, I need to do some shopping..." or the countless pets she "just had to have" over the years even though it was a given he would be the one providing the day to day care.....there just wasn't anything at all he could refuse her.....

I haven't even touched on the more important issues of the things he provided for all of his children through the years such as his wisdom on life, or his deep faith in God and the importance of a spiritual life. The fact that he worked hard over the years providing them all with a wonderful home and all the needs that come along with a large family. He lived these things out for them to see and experience and the value of it has yet to be fully seen or appreciated, as I believe they will be carried on in their lives and in the lives of our grand children...All of his children love and appreciate him, and even though they are all grown adults, still want to spend as much time with him (still playing all their games) as they can. And the grand kids are all quickly learning what a special Grandpa they have. I think the role of a father in a person's life is one of the most significant roles anyone might ever have. It has so much power and importance in how a persons life is formed. I feel my prayer of years and years ago was answered in an overwhelming and abundant way, and I will be forever grateful. My kids truly grew up with the best dad in the world....HAPPY FATHER'S DAY JEFF.....and may the Lord bless and keep you always......

It was a great Father's Day celebration yesterday and the guys all played their traditional basketball game, the food was truly orbital, though we all no doubt ate too much....and we even got in a game of hand and foot with mom and Joe...(the next "tournament" is ours mom) Poor Capri was not feeling well, and starting running a fever so Leah and Jeffie and Cody decided to play it safe and didn't come... = ( but all in all it was a really good day...Happy father's day to all the rest of the daddy's in this family. Hope you all have a wonderful day....

SCRAPBOOKING WITH LINDSEY....

I spent the day today with my grand daughter Lindsey....Danae and Diane have begun scrapbooking on Tues. mornings...I have been planning on joining them for a while now, but this week was really the first chance that I got...

I LOVE the way a scrapbook looks, and my intentions are always good. haha I have a fairly large selection of gear...Assorted colored papers, stickers, cutting utensils, templates, etc. etc. I have even actually started a few books, and have even managed to "somehow" complete one that I gave to Melody and Mike for Valentines Day a couple of years ago. I have received instructions for numerous different women at the scrapbooking store, and have even paid (briefly) for private lessons in my never ending quest to become the expert scrapbooker. Here's what the problem is....while I LOVE the finished product, and WANT very much to BE a creative and faithful scrapbooker, I just really don't enjoy it much at all. It is just sooo incredibly "fiddly"...haha I can think of creative and imaginative things in my mind, and even occasionally manage to get them to become a reality, but the process itself is just not me.... There is sooo much "stuff" that is necessary to complete a single page in a scrapbook, that one must be an expert organizer and have an efficient system in place to keep it that way. Again, just not me. Danae on the other hand, the true QUEEN of all that is Space Management, had the most smoothly running system I had ever seen. Diane's work has become quite expert, and she and Danae seem to love every minute of it. I only saw a couple of pages Danae did, and they too were darling...

Since I couldn't even find the last scrapbook I was working on (sooo me, I know it's somewhere safe) I decided I would just concentrate today on helping Lindsey put together a little book. She is a very talented little budding artist, and I just had a feeling this would be just her cup of tea. She LOVED it. I had developed several pics of Mel's wedding where she had served as one of the flower girls for her to use. She just had a ball with the whole thing. And guess what?? I had a ball watching and working with her. She and Katie both were really darling on the whole thing...Sooooo, I think for a while anyway, I may just bring Lindsey along with me every week and let her have a good time with it all. And meanwhile, it will give me some quality time with my grand daughter, and I think this way, everyone wins...

A GOOD DAY FOR IT......

Today was my first day with all 3 of Joe's kids....they have been really good sooo far, though we got kind of a rocky start, haha....As I was feeding Cody his breakfast pears, he pooped his pants...upon going to change him I realized that there were no wipies....soooo, going the "old fashioned" way, I warmed up a wash clothe to clean him off with while meanwhile he worked up a good lather...THEN, after I got him changed and back into his seat to finish his meal, he kicked the rest of the bowl of cereal to the floor with rice cereal and pears flinging everywhere...what a mess.....by the time I got that cleaned up (I am sooo slow anymore) he was again screaming....FINALLY though following Leah's tips on how to get him to sleep, he drifted off to dreamland where he has been for the last 2 hours!! YAY!! He was definitely tired...Meanwhile I feed Lindsey and Jeff (and myself of course) and did those dishes up and mixed up some oatmeal/raisin bars for later...I think the kids and I are going to put on Anne of Green Gables and settle in.....it's a good day for it...

MEL'S VISIT

I can't decide just what to make this post about, so it will just be a combo of all things that have been happening and going on in my head. It's early, and it was a late night and everyone else is still in bed of course. Mel's visit has flown (of course!) and her flight leaves today at 1:30. As usual I am dreading it. I keep waiting for the visit where it seems like there was plenty of time, and we got talked out, and I was at least OK with her leaving, but so far, no such thing....She has just made a few little side trips to see her friends, lunch here, and coffee there a couple of times, and the rest has been with us. I think her brothers are every bit as frantic as me if they would admit it. At one point Jimmy actually hid her phone from her as he didn't want anything distracting her from all of us, and for some reason they all kept thinking she was going to leave and go visit someone else. Jimmy and his family and Joe and his were here yesterday and they all played game after game after game of Mario Carts on the Wii trying to beat Mel. No such luck...haha I guess they FINALLY decided she was unbeatable....and we moved on to a few games of bowling....we all played that (I am actually pretty good at this haha) to include even Annabel and Lindsey got in on the game...the final 4 in the tournament were Mel and Jimmy, Joe and Evan...Mel won this as well, much to everyone's annoyance, haha...We had a bbq and the food was WONDERFUL....I have had "my guard" for a few days, so I have done quite well. While their tournament was going on, Capri and I baked our cupcakes....She is VERY hooked on the book Pinkalicious, and in this book the little girl bakes PINK cupcakes with her mom where she eats too many and turns pink. I had told Capri the next time she comes we would make some pink cupcakes. She was sooo excited and looked sooo cute to even include wearing her cupcake dress.....She was VERY fun on the whole experience, and I have a feeling she and Grandma will hopefully have MANY more baking experiences together... As you can see from the pics she was adorable on the whole thing. Larissa dusted her face with pink blush, and she was sooo excited to have turned pink herself....haha JD got into the action decorating the little cake that we made from left over batter, though he was licking the frosting faster than I could stop him...haha Jeffie and Capri helped frost and decorate another cake later as everyone had eaten the first batch WAY too fast. The babies were very good on the day and everyone enjoyed them so. As you can see of the pic with Joe and Cody, he is a little replica of his dad....Well I guess that's it for now...I don't need to go into detail how I am feeling as I am sure you are all very well aware....I love my whole family together, though there is sooo many of us now with sooo many kids it is always loud and confusing. But that's OK...it will be quiet soon enough.....believe it or not I tried to nip on the pics, but as you can see there was no way to eliminate anything....

IT IS WHAT IT IS........

Well, I have been so busy recently setting up my "new" blog page that I haven't done much actual blogging....I do have it pretty much the way I want it now, haha, though I have left room to add new pics that are for one reason or another irresistible...

We had a really busy week-end as Jimmy and his family came up on Sat., and stayed until 10:30 Sunday night. Jimmy had Sun. off, which of course is not usually the case, so he decided to take advantage of it by coming up and staying so he could go to our church with us. Naturally as it turned out, Dave was not there, but the guy who taught was really very good. Larissa's favorite Bible teacher was going to give the study on Sunday night, so they decided to go back and hear him as well. He is one of Jeff's favorites too. I stayed home with Capri and JD and we had a good time together. I had never heard of this preacher, but they all raved about him so much I think I will have to get one of his tapes and listen to him for myself. We really did not do much of anything other than that, but sit around and talk etc. We did play with the the Wii quite a bit, or I guess they played, and I watched....The kids were darling as usual, and Joe brought Jeffie and Lindsey over a couple of times as well. Capri and I had our first trip out alone together when we went to Target to get some new Littlest Pet shop gear for Grandma's house. We had such a good time...She is TOTALLY adorable is the only way to describe it. It was definitely a week-end high for me. We bbq Sat. night and had quite the feast. All in all it was a very enjoyable week-end....I LOVE these kind of week-ends, but the house seems so quite after they go.

Melody comes tomorrow.....and I have turned into such a weird person I actually have mixed feelings about it all. I am not sure why I am admitting this, though I imagine I probably haven't fooled most of you anyway....haha I have tried to analyze (shocker!) why I feel like I do, and here is what I have come up with. While she is here I kind of go into another world. Or maybe it is my "old" world. It almost seems as if she never left. We hash and chew and go and do and just plain enjoy just being together. We get caught up on stories and chew the old ones that we like to do, to stumps. The other kids come over and we are all together again. For a few days I don't really think about much else, and all is well with my world. And then she leaves....and I am left behind in the dust dwelling again on the fact that she is gone and it will be WEEKS until I see her again. I try to tell myself, it could be MONTHS or even YEARS....some people have to live with that...I try to tell myself all the pat answers that there is to say and KNOW they are all true. I can talk to her everyday, (and I usually do) she is HAPPY with her life (and she is)I am happy and busy with mine as well. She can post pics about what she is on so I can "see" her too, and she promises that she will SOON....I want her right where she is at as I believe in my heart this is where God wants her to be.....AND YET....I hate it...I keep thinking I will eventually work in and stop complaining, and I try, honest I do. Most of the time recently, I do better than you might think so it IS getting easier to an extent. But then she comes, and I LOVE her being here, and I go right back to my place of hating it when she leaves.....thus, the mixed feelings...How horrible is that?? The closer it is to her being here, is the closer it is till she is leaving again, and I have to go back to WEEKS again before she is.....It is utterly ridiculous I am very well aware. I guess what I have found surprising is, I have an actual and tangible "need" to be with my daughter. She gets me in a way that no one else really does, and yet that isn't really what it is...I just want her here.....But here is the bottom line, cuz there always has to be a bottom line for me...haha, IT IS WHAT IT IS.....and how I hate that little saying....but it is true. The only way this can ever be bearable is right there in my own attitude. I HAVE to make it work and have the right one. Otherwise, I could pitch over into despair with no way out. I am a VERY blessed person and I WILL focus on all I do have. I will enjoy every moment that she is here, and wait patiently until she's back. I will try not to complain. I will ask God to help me with my attitude, and I've NO DOUBT that He will. He knows if anyone does, how I love her, and He understands, even if no one else quite gets it, or thinks I am being ridiculous. Sooooo, on that note, I CAN'T WAIT until she is here tomorrow.....yeah!!! My Melly is coming......

I posted a few pics of our week-end, SOMEDAY I will figure out how to leave captions under each pic that is posted along with a blog, but so far whatever I try does not work, it is hard being a dork, but again, it is what it is....haha