Life is moving quickly these days and I find myself watching some things go by in a blur. How on earth did it get to be almost Oct. already??! I had my hubby dig out our Fall decorations the other day and I did finally get them all up. It was a good feeling. I LOVE Fall. I did tell him after I found "new" places for all my "old" familiar things, that it is FINALLY starting to feel somewhat like home here. But today is Thankful Thursday and I decided to spend some time counting up my blessings. So let's see.
Psalm 50:14 Offer to God thanksgiving, And pay your vows to the Most High.
I am grateful that my mom continues to improve. I spent the entire day with her yesterday and it was a GOOD day. She got her nails done and a good pedicure and how it seemed to raise her spirits. She was LONG overdue. She moves slowly and is a little unsteady, but again soo much improvement. We went back to her house and she took a brief nap and then we spent a good hour "studying" as she calls it. I worked with her on her reading and writing skills. She is doing soo much better and yet definitely continues to struggle here. She thankfully can still see the humor in things (our family is BIG on humor, haha) and we laughed and laughed as I accused her of "guessing". (she was for sure btw, haha)
Psalm 126:2 Then our mouth was filled with laughter, And our tongue with singing. Then they said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them."
We ended the evening by going out to dinner with her hubby and mine at one of our favorite places ~ Olive Garden ~ and it was just like old times. Now she couldn't read the menu, but she knows a lot of it by heart anyway. I love that we can go here and split a dinner with our spouses and STILL have PLENTY of food. Sooo yummy. She is getting set up to attend about 6 weeks or so of various different kinds of therapy and I am soo grateful for the kindness she has been shown. I am grateful these sorts of facilities exist and for the insurance that pays for them.
I am grateful for a little break in the heat today. We reached 113 here on Mon; a record breaking day. I am anxiously awaiting TRUE Fall weather however, haha.
I am grateful for my sisters and the fact that there are soo many of us to rally around and help and support one another.
I am grateful for my husband who works soo hard and lives with the stresses he does at his office.
I am grateful that my son James's first Sunday evening service went REALLY well and that he is beginning a study in first Corinthians. I am grateful that if all goes as planned we will be going to hear him every Sunday night. YAY...
I am grateful that this week-end stretches ahead of us with NOTHING that has to be done, and NOWHERE we have to go...Oh the possibilities, haha...
And I will end this on one final thought of gratitude. How grateful I am for all of you precious bloggers I feel I have come to know. It is like continuous GOOD books I get to read every day. Soo many of you are SUCH good writers and bless me so with your knowledge of His Word and the insights you have learned that you are soo willing to share. The everyday happenings as well make me smile and remember sometimes the days when my children were young. The recipes that make my mouth water and my tummy growl are available with a click of a finger. The places I get to visit and see as I browse through the pictures of your trips and the events of your life. The prayers and support from women all over this great country, and even some in Canada. = ) How I thank God everyday for you.
1 CH 23:30 to stand every morning to thank and praise the LORD, and likewise at evening;
May this verse take root in all of our hearts that it might be our strongest desire.
Have a wonderful week-end. (yah, I know it's only Thursday...I am a little ahead of myself, haha
Join the other thankful hearts here....you will be so blessed if you do.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
A LONG POST....
Well again it has been a busy few days...I will try and give some of the highlights...
First, my mom has been discharged as of yesterday morning and is settling in at home, soo glad to be rid of hospital noise, FOOD, and routine. She is doing very well. She is still struggling with the reading and writing and occasionally finding the right word for what she is trying to say. Everyone seems to be very confident that with time it will be possible to gain back all she lost. If it doesn't happen it will certainly not be from lack of effort on her part. She is soo eager to do whatever it is that is necessary to get these abilities back. She works long after she is tried, and does it all with such a cheerful attitude. I won't lie to you. The whole thing has been VERY hard not only for her of course, but also for me and no doubt my sisters as well. It is a very strange feeling to watch your mom struggle with 3 lettered words knowing she was such an avid reader in the past that two books a week was not out of the question for her to accomplish. She can't seem to tell time either. And what she seems to master one day, is occasionally lost again the next. It is most frustrating to watch, and even more so for her of course. I am grateful of course that things were not soo much worse as they could have so easily have been. Physically she seems to be right where she was. And yet like so many others I am sure it is hard to watch your mother (or father) just plain old "age"....I of course am with her everyday or at the very least talk to her, and yet it is not the same. I miss what our relationship was, and yet am soo very grateful she is still here to enjoy and love. There is not much at all keeping her from having another stroke. She has a condition in her brain where it would be quite likely that she will. All we can do is keep her blood pressure low (which it is praise God) and her blood sugar under control (which is also pretty good) and then trust God that it is all in His hands. We all watch her around the clock, and will work with her every chance we get, and get to her therapy as well. It is a new chapter in my life and one in which I would have loved to have just skipped or avoided altogether. I have no idea what the outcome of it may be. But I do know this. God loves her and cares about what happens and will see her and all of us through whatever might be until the day He calls her home. I would appreciate your prayers from my mom. I of course am asking that He might heal her completely and that there will be many more years here to enjoy together. But I am willing to trust Him that whatever should happen, it is His best for her and for us.
I had somewhat of another scare this week which has left me somewhat frazzled as well. I woke up on Tues. morning noticing a LARGE lump on my right side (cancer side of course) directly in the middle of my scar. Now it was soo large that it could be felt easily and seen at a simple glance in the mirror. Common sense seemed to tell me that SURELY this couldn't be a reoccurrence of the cancer after such a short time and be this large as well, especially since I had my cancer rated at a stage 0 with a VERY small chance of reoccurrence. However I of course called my oncologist’s office who told me to come in the next day. After being examined there they sent me for a STAT ultrasound and possible biopsy that very night over at the hospital. To say my mind went racing would be putting it mildly. I drove over trying hard not to be hysterical and wondering what on earth might be happening. My husband was with (thank you Jesus) and after he prayed with me I did feel the familiar peace wash over me again that NO MATTER WHAT this might be, He was with me. The whole procedure took much longer than you would think, but I eventually did have a doc. come in to perform a biopsy. He felt VERY certain from the beginning that what they were seeing was simply blood and blood clots. They would of course confirm this when they tried to drain it, which they did. He didn't even feel the need to send it to pathology as it was soo obviously blood, and yet he did as my doc had ordered it. I won't hear the results until Tues. I am not really very concerned about this as of course the lump immediately disappeared upon draining it. HOWEVER, it has already filled up again. Not quite as large as before, but close. I will make another trip to my surgeons office on Tues. (my birthday ~ sound like a fun day? especially since this appointment will be followed by more knee x-rays, haha) to have it drained again and maybe find out more as to why this happening almost 4 months post surgery. The doc at the hospital suggested to me that it might be the fact that I carried my granddaughter around sooo much on the previous Thursday, (she is kind of big, and somewhat heavy, but nothing really) but I am not sure what to think. I do know that I would sooo much rather not be dealing with this anymore. I am tired of babying myself. I feel like I was as careful as I could possibly be for as long as they told me to be. I want to be done. And yet for whatever reason this is still something I must deal with. Coupled with my arthritis in my knees awaiting surgery when I am FINALLY back to normal (whatever that is haha) it is hard not to feel like I am just meant to be sitting around not doing much. I won't lie here either....I am MOST tired of this. SIGH....But again, how grateful I am that they found no tumors and that it doesn't appear to have anything to do with cancer. I am also soo grateful that I felt Him flooding me with His peace and comfort.
And on much lighter and happier note, yesterday we traveled down to San Diego for a large birthday party my youngest son James threw for his wife Larissa's 30th birthday. What a fun day it was!! They had the party at the bay by Sea World and it was just gorgeous down there. The weather was perfect; warm with cool breezes blowing. He had a catering company come out and make tacos. Beef, pork and chicken with all the fixings. They were DELICIOUS. I will confess that I had one of each. (they were small Mel don't panic) The kids all played on the playground that was right beside us. We walked down to the water and watched as they splashed in the puddles on shore. The conversations were enjoyable and the day just couldn't have been better. I brought Larissa one of Kristi's (your sugar rush) famous cakes and it was sooo good. She came up with a recipe for pumpkin spice cake with a cinnamon cream cheese filling. Oh my goodness it was yummy... Definitely my new fav Kristi. We brought a large sheet cake from Costco for the majority of the guests, (it was a REALLY BIG crowd) which was tasty I heard, and I didn't even feel guilty that I was one of the select few who got a piece of the good one, haha...I am not sure I got nearly enough though even so. lol (not really Mel) Quite a few of the high school kids that James pastors were there as well and some of the boys got together and played a game of football. Jeff joined in as well of course which he thoroughly enjoyed, but was feeling it somewhat this morning, haha...It was good to see James interacting with his group which I have never seen before. It was easy to see that they enjoy him so and look up to him as well; a good moment for this mom for sure. I am not sure if I have mentioned this (there has been soo much happening) but James has been given the Sunday evening church service on a permanent basis as well. It is really a lot to add to his already VERY busy schedule, but a HUGE opportunity for him to teach/preach as well. His first service is tonight and we plan on traveling down to hear him. We are both soo excited for him and to see what the Lord has in mind with all of this. You can catch him live if you are so inclined at http://www.maranathachapel.org/ at 6:00PM.
Well, believe it or not I could go on, haha, but this is WAY to lengthy as it is and for that I am soo sorry (for those of who stuck around to the end that is). I have MUCH on my mind. There are other things I could share (such as my oldest son's expansion on his Karate school which is soo exciting ~ another post) but I will close for now. Life is a long, winding road full of ups and downs, laughter and tears, sickness and health, triumphs and failures, and mine is no different. I am grateful for all the good, and look for the lessons I am to learn from the rest.
Here are some pics of yesterday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFUL DIL!
First, my mom has been discharged as of yesterday morning and is settling in at home, soo glad to be rid of hospital noise, FOOD, and routine. She is doing very well. She is still struggling with the reading and writing and occasionally finding the right word for what she is trying to say. Everyone seems to be very confident that with time it will be possible to gain back all she lost. If it doesn't happen it will certainly not be from lack of effort on her part. She is soo eager to do whatever it is that is necessary to get these abilities back. She works long after she is tried, and does it all with such a cheerful attitude. I won't lie to you. The whole thing has been VERY hard not only for her of course, but also for me and no doubt my sisters as well. It is a very strange feeling to watch your mom struggle with 3 lettered words knowing she was such an avid reader in the past that two books a week was not out of the question for her to accomplish. She can't seem to tell time either. And what she seems to master one day, is occasionally lost again the next. It is most frustrating to watch, and even more so for her of course. I am grateful of course that things were not soo much worse as they could have so easily have been. Physically she seems to be right where she was. And yet like so many others I am sure it is hard to watch your mother (or father) just plain old "age"....I of course am with her everyday or at the very least talk to her, and yet it is not the same. I miss what our relationship was, and yet am soo very grateful she is still here to enjoy and love. There is not much at all keeping her from having another stroke. She has a condition in her brain where it would be quite likely that she will. All we can do is keep her blood pressure low (which it is praise God) and her blood sugar under control (which is also pretty good) and then trust God that it is all in His hands. We all watch her around the clock, and will work with her every chance we get, and get to her therapy as well. It is a new chapter in my life and one in which I would have loved to have just skipped or avoided altogether. I have no idea what the outcome of it may be. But I do know this. God loves her and cares about what happens and will see her and all of us through whatever might be until the day He calls her home. I would appreciate your prayers from my mom. I of course am asking that He might heal her completely and that there will be many more years here to enjoy together. But I am willing to trust Him that whatever should happen, it is His best for her and for us.
I had somewhat of another scare this week which has left me somewhat frazzled as well. I woke up on Tues. morning noticing a LARGE lump on my right side (cancer side of course) directly in the middle of my scar. Now it was soo large that it could be felt easily and seen at a simple glance in the mirror. Common sense seemed to tell me that SURELY this couldn't be a reoccurrence of the cancer after such a short time and be this large as well, especially since I had my cancer rated at a stage 0 with a VERY small chance of reoccurrence. However I of course called my oncologist’s office who told me to come in the next day. After being examined there they sent me for a STAT ultrasound and possible biopsy that very night over at the hospital. To say my mind went racing would be putting it mildly. I drove over trying hard not to be hysterical and wondering what on earth might be happening. My husband was with (thank you Jesus) and after he prayed with me I did feel the familiar peace wash over me again that NO MATTER WHAT this might be, He was with me. The whole procedure took much longer than you would think, but I eventually did have a doc. come in to perform a biopsy. He felt VERY certain from the beginning that what they were seeing was simply blood and blood clots. They would of course confirm this when they tried to drain it, which they did. He didn't even feel the need to send it to pathology as it was soo obviously blood, and yet he did as my doc had ordered it. I won't hear the results until Tues. I am not really very concerned about this as of course the lump immediately disappeared upon draining it. HOWEVER, it has already filled up again. Not quite as large as before, but close. I will make another trip to my surgeons office on Tues. (my birthday ~ sound like a fun day? especially since this appointment will be followed by more knee x-rays, haha) to have it drained again and maybe find out more as to why this happening almost 4 months post surgery. The doc at the hospital suggested to me that it might be the fact that I carried my granddaughter around sooo much on the previous Thursday, (she is kind of big, and somewhat heavy, but nothing really) but I am not sure what to think. I do know that I would sooo much rather not be dealing with this anymore. I am tired of babying myself. I feel like I was as careful as I could possibly be for as long as they told me to be. I want to be done. And yet for whatever reason this is still something I must deal with. Coupled with my arthritis in my knees awaiting surgery when I am FINALLY back to normal (whatever that is haha) it is hard not to feel like I am just meant to be sitting around not doing much. I won't lie here either....I am MOST tired of this. SIGH....But again, how grateful I am that they found no tumors and that it doesn't appear to have anything to do with cancer. I am also soo grateful that I felt Him flooding me with His peace and comfort.
And on much lighter and happier note, yesterday we traveled down to San Diego for a large birthday party my youngest son James threw for his wife Larissa's 30th birthday. What a fun day it was!! They had the party at the bay by Sea World and it was just gorgeous down there. The weather was perfect; warm with cool breezes blowing. He had a catering company come out and make tacos. Beef, pork and chicken with all the fixings. They were DELICIOUS. I will confess that I had one of each. (they were small Mel don't panic) The kids all played on the playground that was right beside us. We walked down to the water and watched as they splashed in the puddles on shore. The conversations were enjoyable and the day just couldn't have been better. I brought Larissa one of Kristi's (your sugar rush) famous cakes and it was sooo good. She came up with a recipe for pumpkin spice cake with a cinnamon cream cheese filling. Oh my goodness it was yummy... Definitely my new fav Kristi. We brought a large sheet cake from Costco for the majority of the guests, (it was a REALLY BIG crowd) which was tasty I heard, and I didn't even feel guilty that I was one of the select few who got a piece of the good one, haha...I am not sure I got nearly enough though even so. lol (not really Mel) Quite a few of the high school kids that James pastors were there as well and some of the boys got together and played a game of football. Jeff joined in as well of course which he thoroughly enjoyed, but was feeling it somewhat this morning, haha...It was good to see James interacting with his group which I have never seen before. It was easy to see that they enjoy him so and look up to him as well; a good moment for this mom for sure. I am not sure if I have mentioned this (there has been soo much happening) but James has been given the Sunday evening church service on a permanent basis as well. It is really a lot to add to his already VERY busy schedule, but a HUGE opportunity for him to teach/preach as well. His first service is tonight and we plan on traveling down to hear him. We are both soo excited for him and to see what the Lord has in mind with all of this. You can catch him live if you are so inclined at http://www.maranathachapel.org/ at 6:00PM.
Well, believe it or not I could go on, haha, but this is WAY to lengthy as it is and for that I am soo sorry (for those of who stuck around to the end that is). I have MUCH on my mind. There are other things I could share (such as my oldest son's expansion on his Karate school which is soo exciting ~ another post) but I will close for now. Life is a long, winding road full of ups and downs, laughter and tears, sickness and health, triumphs and failures, and mine is no different. I am grateful for all the good, and look for the lessons I am to learn from the rest.
Here are some pics of yesterday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFUL DIL!
Capri on the swings ~ where she spent a great deal of the day
JD such a sweetie
Donatella ~ I think I might start referring to her as "mini" Mel ~ she reminds me soo much of her
The pretty yummy cake that Kristi made
The "other" cake, haha
Larissa
James & Larissa
Present time ~ soo many nice things
Football games
Tella heads down to the water
Tella hea
Playing in the puddles....sooo fun!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
THE WEDDING
Jessica & Phil Patterson....her dress was beautiful...my son Jimmy had everyone laughing a few times...such a joy filled occasion
I managed to get some of the photographer's pictures....he was soo good...this was one of MANY fun shots he took, haha....Jessie had these tops made for the girls to wear during their "getting ready" time. It said their function on the front, and Jessie's nick name for them on the back. Mel is to her left. (nickname "Melodies" haha) Their hair had been done by girls from Jessie's shop in Newport. It was just darling.
How darling is this?
Bridal magazine cover don't ya think? Sooo pretty....Jessie also got all the girls big rings like the one she is wearing here...soo cute
The stairs where she made her entrance
Ready to make her memorable walk up the aisle with her daddy
The Matron of Honor, Melody and the Best Man, Chris
Loved all the colors...Jessie's favorite flower? Gerber daisy's of course
Phil got himself and all his groomsmen brown vans to wear for the day so they would be comfy...soo cute and soo them
A view of the sceen
Boy can you tell the difference when my camera takes the pic or what, haha?? But I love this of the girls
Lindsey getting her hair done....I took her and Capri at 2 to get their hair done by the girls from the shop and to have their pictures taken etc. The wedding didn't start until 5:30 so it was kind of a long afternoon, especially for Capri, but the girls were sooo good. And I loved being there to see the preparations and feel the excitement. I did get lost on the way there however, and boy was I ever panicked. I couldn't get anyone to answer the phone. Mel eventually did and got her scattered mama to the place...sigh
Capri's turn....she wore a clip on ponytail as her's wasn't quite long enough. It was just darling
A side shot...soo cute
My two cuties
Linsey & Katie....I realized later that I never did get the other flower girl Jackie in a pic. Though her grandma, my sister Diane, has a wonderful camera and takes such outstanding pics I am sure I can steal a good one from her soon, haha
The little ring bearer fell in love with Capri...."I want to hug her" he told me when I wanted to take their pic...how darling was that?
They had floating lemons, limes & oranges on all of the tables as part of the centerpieces. Here is Mel chopping the fruit and putting them together
My youngest son James & his wife Larissa
Mel & Mike
Jeff & I
Happy couple
Mr. & Mrs Patterson
All the little flower girls & the guest book girl Tabbie getting their instructions
("borrowed" this pic from Di)
They had this candy table set up as a help yourself souvenir....it was a hit, especially with my grandkids, haha They also had a photo booth with lots of funny hats and props to take pics with, What fun this was. I'd show you ours if I could only figure out how to do it.
Mel's toast brought a few to tears...
Mother of the bride, my beuatiful sister Danae and her husband Paul
My grandsons JD & Jeffie enjoying some of the candy
Capri dancing with her daddy
My oldest son Joe & his wife Leah and little Jeffie (not sure where Lindsey was, haha)
My middle son John & his fiance Yolanda
The cake
Cutting the cake....it was SOOO yummy
All in all it was truly a beautiful wedding. The ceremony was soo personal and a few tears were shed. The food was outstanding and the dancing and music just finished off the night. What a celebration of love. There is a time and place for everything according to His Word, and this was definitely a time to rejoice. I wish Jessie & Phil all the happiness in the world, and may the Lord make His face to shine upon them always in the years ahead. CONGRATULATIONS to them both!
Monday, September 20, 2010
BUSY WEEK-END PART ONE
Well it is late (for me) to be starting a post. It is already Mon. night at close to 9. What a LONG, PACKED to the brim with activities, few days it has been. My emotions are all over the place which just seems to be the way it is recently for me and for probably several of us in my family. I am tired tonight
~ having only got about 5 hours of sleep last night ~ so I am very sure that is adding to my scattered emotions. I've had several ways I've considered writing this post, but I decided again to just write from my heart and try to put to words how I am feeling.
Let me start by saying my mom is doing MUCH better and I am so grateful for your prayers. She has spent the last few days in a rehabilitation hospital working soo hard on trying to gain back some of the abilities she lost with her stroke. Reading continues to be the biggest struggle for her and there seems to still be no rhyme nor reason as to why one minute she can read a few words, and yet the next she struggles with the simplest of words. We are all encouraged that she will continue to get better every day, and yet at the same time it is very difficult to watch her struggle, become frustrated and grow weary so quickly. Things could have been so much worse of course, as many of those around her can only arouse your sympathies and concern. She did not make it to the wedding. She took it well, and accepted what she needs to do at this season in her life. My mom is much stronger than I think she thinks she is. She deals with what she must, and does the best she can. I have been at the hospital almost every day and I won't lie. It is difficult to get everything done I must do and spend all this extra time there as well. I am weary. It is hard for me to get around and do all the walking that it requires to get from one end of the hospital to the other, and the parking lot and back with my knees. My last doc. visit confirmed what I knew anyway. Replacement surgery is getting closer and closer. In fact, if not for my most recent surgery I would probably just schedule it and get it over with. But meanwhile, my legs hurt soo badly. It makes me feel MUCH older than I am, sigh, and at times makes me feel like I am not pulling my fair share of the responsibilities as I need to sit soo much. It is hard to be in pain everyday and not have it affect your attitude. But God's grace gives me the strength to do what I sometimes feel like I just can't. I am soo glad Melody was here and got to spend several hours with her Grandma (in between her Matron of Honor duties) just sitting beside her in her bed while she played with her hair like she did when she was little.
The wedding festivities started off Thursday with the Rehearsal and the Rehearsal dinner. Melody arrived LATE Wed. night so we went straight to bed when we got her home. Thursday morning we headed out to Upland to get my nails done (what a mess I was, haha) and then out to my son's house to collect Lindsey's things and pick her up at school. Mel & I were taking her to the rehearsal (she was one of the flower girls) as both Joe & Leah had to work. By the time we got back home it was time to get ready and head out for the wedding site. It was a LONG drive, lots and lots of walking (including from the site itself down the street to the restaurant for the dinner) and I was totally dragging by the time we were done. But it was SUCH a fun night. The dinner was sooo good. Truly some of the best food I have eaten in a long time. The excitement in the air was downright contagious. My youngest son and his family were also there as not only was Jimmy the minister who was to marry them, but Capri was also one of the flower girls. They just added to my pleasure of the evening. But by the time we got Lindsey back home and then drove home ourselves it was after midnight. We were both soo tired. The next Morning we popped up early and headed out to the hospital so Mel could spend some time with her Grandma before she headed out for the day with Jessica to finish off some of the last minute wedding chores. I stayed with my mom. Mel got back to the hospital late in the afternoon and we spent a couple more hours with my mom. Again by the time we were headed home we were both REALLY tired. We watched a little TV and headed off to bed. Sat. morning we again headed out to the hospital as this was the last time Mel would have to see her grandmother until her next visit which probably won't be until Christmas time. After a couple of hours there I took Mel to a nail salon where Jessica was waiting for her with her other bridesmaids for their mannies and peddies for the wedding. She was to spend the night with Jessie as her last night as a single girl. I headed back to the hospital. My hubby met me there and we spent the evening with my mom and stepdad. We actually played some dominoes and believe it or not my mother actually beat us all, haha...She did very well. Moved a little slower, took longer on her turn than usual, and tired after 4 rounds, but never made a single mistake. We headed home again tired and ready to drop into bed, KNOWING the next day would be a long one.
It's 10 pm and I promised myself to get to bed tonight at a reasonable time, so I will end this here. As soon as I get the chance I will write another post about the wedding itself. But I will say, it was truly spectacular. Jessica looked soo beautiful, and everyone had a wonderful time. My mother's absence was felt for sure, but she was with us in spirit for sure. I will leave with a teaser picture of my darling little grand daughters Lindsey & Capri in their adorable little flower girl attire...
~ having only got about 5 hours of sleep last night ~ so I am very sure that is adding to my scattered emotions. I've had several ways I've considered writing this post, but I decided again to just write from my heart and try to put to words how I am feeling.
Let me start by saying my mom is doing MUCH better and I am so grateful for your prayers. She has spent the last few days in a rehabilitation hospital working soo hard on trying to gain back some of the abilities she lost with her stroke. Reading continues to be the biggest struggle for her and there seems to still be no rhyme nor reason as to why one minute she can read a few words, and yet the next she struggles with the simplest of words. We are all encouraged that she will continue to get better every day, and yet at the same time it is very difficult to watch her struggle, become frustrated and grow weary so quickly. Things could have been so much worse of course, as many of those around her can only arouse your sympathies and concern. She did not make it to the wedding. She took it well, and accepted what she needs to do at this season in her life. My mom is much stronger than I think she thinks she is. She deals with what she must, and does the best she can. I have been at the hospital almost every day and I won't lie. It is difficult to get everything done I must do and spend all this extra time there as well. I am weary. It is hard for me to get around and do all the walking that it requires to get from one end of the hospital to the other, and the parking lot and back with my knees. My last doc. visit confirmed what I knew anyway. Replacement surgery is getting closer and closer. In fact, if not for my most recent surgery I would probably just schedule it and get it over with. But meanwhile, my legs hurt soo badly. It makes me feel MUCH older than I am, sigh, and at times makes me feel like I am not pulling my fair share of the responsibilities as I need to sit soo much. It is hard to be in pain everyday and not have it affect your attitude. But God's grace gives me the strength to do what I sometimes feel like I just can't. I am soo glad Melody was here and got to spend several hours with her Grandma (in between her Matron of Honor duties) just sitting beside her in her bed while she played with her hair like she did when she was little.
The wedding festivities started off Thursday with the Rehearsal and the Rehearsal dinner. Melody arrived LATE Wed. night so we went straight to bed when we got her home. Thursday morning we headed out to Upland to get my nails done (what a mess I was, haha) and then out to my son's house to collect Lindsey's things and pick her up at school. Mel & I were taking her to the rehearsal (she was one of the flower girls) as both Joe & Leah had to work. By the time we got back home it was time to get ready and head out for the wedding site. It was a LONG drive, lots and lots of walking (including from the site itself down the street to the restaurant for the dinner) and I was totally dragging by the time we were done. But it was SUCH a fun night. The dinner was sooo good. Truly some of the best food I have eaten in a long time. The excitement in the air was downright contagious. My youngest son and his family were also there as not only was Jimmy the minister who was to marry them, but Capri was also one of the flower girls. They just added to my pleasure of the evening. But by the time we got Lindsey back home and then drove home ourselves it was after midnight. We were both soo tired. The next Morning we popped up early and headed out to the hospital so Mel could spend some time with her Grandma before she headed out for the day with Jessica to finish off some of the last minute wedding chores. I stayed with my mom. Mel got back to the hospital late in the afternoon and we spent a couple more hours with my mom. Again by the time we were headed home we were both REALLY tired. We watched a little TV and headed off to bed. Sat. morning we again headed out to the hospital as this was the last time Mel would have to see her grandmother until her next visit which probably won't be until Christmas time. After a couple of hours there I took Mel to a nail salon where Jessica was waiting for her with her other bridesmaids for their mannies and peddies for the wedding. She was to spend the night with Jessie as her last night as a single girl. I headed back to the hospital. My hubby met me there and we spent the evening with my mom and stepdad. We actually played some dominoes and believe it or not my mother actually beat us all, haha...She did very well. Moved a little slower, took longer on her turn than usual, and tired after 4 rounds, but never made a single mistake. We headed home again tired and ready to drop into bed, KNOWING the next day would be a long one.
It's 10 pm and I promised myself to get to bed tonight at a reasonable time, so I will end this here. As soon as I get the chance I will write another post about the wedding itself. But I will say, it was truly spectacular. Jessica looked soo beautiful, and everyone had a wonderful time. My mother's absence was felt for sure, but she was with us in spirit for sure. I will leave with a teaser picture of my darling little grand daughters Lindsey & Capri in their adorable little flower girl attire...
Mel & her Grandma
Donatella walked up during the rehearsal and "posed" herself with the girls...haha...it was just adorable. She didn't know she wasn't one of them....Didn't realize I cut off Jessie's head trying to capture Donatella. Sorry, Jess, haha...look at how cute Jessie's shoes were though.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
GOD IS SOO GOOD
What a LONG LONG few days it has been. I have great news to report tonight. And the most amazing thing of all is had I written this post last night it would have been very different indeed.
My mother is doing sooo much better. How grateful I am for all of you who have prayed for her. She was soo ill yesterday she was unable to get out of her bed at all. She spent the day dry heaving and on Morphine for her skull cracking headache. Her blood pressure was still too high. She was confused and unable to express a lot of which she was trying to say. It was hard to watch and yet I couldn't seem to bring myself from her bedside. My 3 sisters and I have gathered around and done all we could to help make her comfortable and to tend to not only her needs around the clock, but to those of my poor step dad as well. He has been soo overwhelmed and down. He is 85 years old, diabetic, and still soo in love with her. Their relationship has always been one to envy. How close they are. And yet soo many of my thoughts have been selfish as I could only see how this would affect me. However would I bear the loss of my mother as I have known her. I talk to my mom AT LENGTH every day; sometimes for a good hour or more. We get together and go to dinner with them FREQUENTLY and have an ongoing card game we play almost weekly. She is my biggest cheer leader and someone I have counted on my entire life. How I love her. To watch her suffer in such a way has almost been unbearable. She has always been soo healthy. She looks soo young for her age, I think we all forget that she is 78 years old. (though she is still insisting she is 88, haha)....But today from the moment I walked into her room I could see that everything had changed. She was sitting up in bed eating her breakfast and talked and laughed as if not much had ever happened. She walked the hall without even a walker, steady and sure on her feet. Her blood pressure has dropped right where they want it to be. Her nausea was gone, and her headache with it. She is still having a little trouble reading, though that is beginning to return as well. She even recognized MOST of the stack of playing cards she was shown. She will be transported tomorrow to a re-hab hospital to get the therapy she needs to make a full recovery. They don't think she will be there for more than a week. There is even a small chance she might make it to the wedding on Sun. I can't begin to express the gratitude I feel. God is soo good, and His healing touch has been upon her for sure. This whole experience has made me remember all too well how fleeting life really is. Here today and gone tomorrow. Not a one of us knows what tomorrow holds.
James 4:14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is but a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.
We need to appreciate what we have and love everyone as much as we can. Life is too short to be spent any other way. We need to live our lives for Him while we have the breath to do so, and be willing to make a difference where we can. There is still a long, hard road ahead for my mom. She will have lots of support and encouragement from a family and friends who are there for her, and the strength of a God who will walk the road with her. I will so appreciate any prayers that you might offer for her. Especially that she might be well enough to attend the wedding, if only for a little while. And if not, that she will not be too depressed if she is to miss it. She has been soo excited about it. I have not been able to keep up with everyone these last few days, and I am afraid the next few might be just as bad. I have brought my lap top to the hospital with me and have stolen a few visits while my mama napped. I came home early tonight as I am soo tired and plan on falling into bed right after this. And another good piece of news tonight? My Melly will be here tomorrow for 6 whole days....YAY....Yes, God is soo good.
My mother is doing sooo much better. How grateful I am for all of you who have prayed for her. She was soo ill yesterday she was unable to get out of her bed at all. She spent the day dry heaving and on Morphine for her skull cracking headache. Her blood pressure was still too high. She was confused and unable to express a lot of which she was trying to say. It was hard to watch and yet I couldn't seem to bring myself from her bedside. My 3 sisters and I have gathered around and done all we could to help make her comfortable and to tend to not only her needs around the clock, but to those of my poor step dad as well. He has been soo overwhelmed and down. He is 85 years old, diabetic, and still soo in love with her. Their relationship has always been one to envy. How close they are. And yet soo many of my thoughts have been selfish as I could only see how this would affect me. However would I bear the loss of my mother as I have known her. I talk to my mom AT LENGTH every day; sometimes for a good hour or more. We get together and go to dinner with them FREQUENTLY and have an ongoing card game we play almost weekly. She is my biggest cheer leader and someone I have counted on my entire life. How I love her. To watch her suffer in such a way has almost been unbearable. She has always been soo healthy. She looks soo young for her age, I think we all forget that she is 78 years old. (though she is still insisting she is 88, haha)....But today from the moment I walked into her room I could see that everything had changed. She was sitting up in bed eating her breakfast and talked and laughed as if not much had ever happened. She walked the hall without even a walker, steady and sure on her feet. Her blood pressure has dropped right where they want it to be. Her nausea was gone, and her headache with it. She is still having a little trouble reading, though that is beginning to return as well. She even recognized MOST of the stack of playing cards she was shown. She will be transported tomorrow to a re-hab hospital to get the therapy she needs to make a full recovery. They don't think she will be there for more than a week. There is even a small chance she might make it to the wedding on Sun. I can't begin to express the gratitude I feel. God is soo good, and His healing touch has been upon her for sure. This whole experience has made me remember all too well how fleeting life really is. Here today and gone tomorrow. Not a one of us knows what tomorrow holds.
James 4:14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is but a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.
We need to appreciate what we have and love everyone as much as we can. Life is too short to be spent any other way. We need to live our lives for Him while we have the breath to do so, and be willing to make a difference where we can. There is still a long, hard road ahead for my mom. She will have lots of support and encouragement from a family and friends who are there for her, and the strength of a God who will walk the road with her. I will so appreciate any prayers that you might offer for her. Especially that she might be well enough to attend the wedding, if only for a little while. And if not, that she will not be too depressed if she is to miss it. She has been soo excited about it. I have not been able to keep up with everyone these last few days, and I am afraid the next few might be just as bad. I have brought my lap top to the hospital with me and have stolen a few visits while my mama napped. I came home early tonight as I am soo tired and plan on falling into bed right after this. And another good piece of news tonight? My Melly will be here tomorrow for 6 whole days....YAY....Yes, God is soo good.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
PRAYERS NEEDED FOR MY MOM
I am claiming this verse (and many others) for my mom
Psa 91:4 He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
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