Friday, April 13, 2012


It is Friday afternoon and as I sit here listening to the rain POUR down, and watching the lightening flash and hearing the thunder roar, I am grateful to be all snug and warm inside my cozy little house.  We seldom get a storm like this in Southern California and I am enjoying every minute of it; though that last crack of thunder was SOOO loud I will admit I jumped a bit, haha.  I have a feeling this won't last very long as it seldom does when it rains this hard.  I have a pot of chicken soup simmering on the stove too, just to add to the feel of the day, lol.  It does smell good!    This week has flown by and I have a few things on my mind that I need to sort through.  I took my mom to see the Neurologist on Tues., and the report was kind of disturbing.  Her memory has been getting worse and worse and she is becoming increasingly unsteady on her feet.  She becomes quickly nervous and easily agitated, and neither one of these emotions are like her.  She just has never been quite the same since her stroke.  He feels she is suffering mainly from dementia at this point.   She has always looked and seemed sooo young that it is hard to remember that she is almost 80.  He is suggesting some memory helping medications which I will admit I am not in favor of.  However my sisters feel differently so I imagine we will have to discuss all of this, pray about it all, research it, and sort it out.  He is also wanting us to do some physical therapy to help improve (hopefully, though I don't know how) her unbalance.   After this appointment, we headed over to hear the results of my step dad's CT scan that he had on Monday afternoon.  This was another disturbing visit.  We learned that his cancer is pretty much everywhere, and it is just a matter of time.  We were told how to contact Hospice once we feel the need to do that.  My parents shuffled slowly to their car in tears.  My mom just kind of looking blankly ahead I am sure wondering what in the world was to become of her once he is gone.  I will admit I am wondering the same thing.  Due to finances and health reasons my mom is going to be unable to live alone after he is gone, and again we are not quite sure what we will do.  Alot to work through.  My sister and I sat with our parents trying to focus on the positive, though that is hard to do when you have in essence been given a death sentence.  But we did manage to come up with he has lived a long (87 years) and VERY healthy life.  Very active, involved, and loving.  He knows the Lord and will soon be seeing Him face to face and spending his eternity with Him.  My mom has loved and cared for him for the last 30 years and together they have 8 children, 6 children in laws, 19 grand kids, 12 great grand kids, and two more on the way!  They all know and love him very much.  It seems so strange in some ways that as we anxiously await the birth of the new babies, these two make their way on to the next life.  But that is the way life is.  Always has been.  But it doesn't make it any easier.  It has also made me think that maybe it will come sooner than I think that I will be the older grandma in my mother's shoes.  And that is God willing of course.  Like I said, alot to sort through.  I remember when I was in my mid twenties and my mom was dealing with her mother who was suffering with cancer.  She moved her in and together they traveled that road until she finally passed away.  I remember being so involved at that time with my young family that I didn't focus as much as I should have maybe on them.  Or maybe that's just the way life is.  I do know that I loved my grandmother to pieces, and I have never stopped missing her.    On Thursday I had lunch with my longtime girlfriend.  We had such a good time, but find ourselves in very similar places.  Her mom is suffering from congestive heart failure and dementia and has been given just a little while to live.  Her dad is pretty good, though he has lost almost all hearing in both ears.  Her daughter is recently engaged and we rejoiced as we shared stories of our grandchildren.  How I thank God for her!  After lunch I went and picked up little Jeffie as He was walking home from school.  I took him to see the movie  Lorax, which we both thoroughly enjoyed.  After the movie it was time for a hair cut which he has been needing for a while.  After that we did just a little bit of shopping and he picked out a little something new to play with.  We talked and talked just like we always do, and I was stuck again how much I love him, and how blessed I am.  How I want to make as many memories with him and ALL of my grandchildren for as long as I can.  Yes, life is definitely a cycle.  We are all here for whatever amount of time the Lord sees fit to grant us.  And it is important that we live those lives with a purpose and with meaning.  That we do all we can to live our lives to the fullest, and for Him if we belong to Him, and to make them count.  To find the joy that is all around us, and to remember, we are only passing through. 

Had to post the most recent picture of Sam that I have as it is just soo darling!  Melody said he is managing to get everywhere he wants to get with quick rolls and army crawling, haha.  I love listening to the joy she finds in him. 


We are going to pack up my chicken soup and go over to play cards tonight with my parents.  I can't help but wonder how many times are left that we will be able to do this.  But tonight I am not going to focus on that.  But rather on how glad I am that we have tonight.  Hope you all have a wonderful week-end!

For those of you who read this earlier, I am sorry that most of it was missing.  I have NO idea what happened.  I don't think I have said it as well this second time, but I think it is all at least here....hmmm, wonder what this means?


  1. Sounds as if you have the right attitude about whatever must be faced. God is not going to leave us hanging.

    I do not know any other bald, chubby guy with drool on his chin who is anywhere near as cute as your darling Sam. I am sure that you just want to scoop him up!

  2. Oh, Debbie this time in our lives is so hard. Hiubby and I only have my Dad left and of course this past year has been more than challenging than imaginable for him and us. And, I know, like me at their age, that our son and daughter never think about such times coming for me and Hubby. But, life does come full circle. Such a heartfelt post! hugs to you!

  3. Hi! Debbie, your post just sent my head and heart whirling with the memories of my parents! I lost them 11 months apart a few years ago! and all that I can share with you is that GOD'S GRACE IS SUFFICIENT! He will give it in abundance when we TRUST HIM! but I do send prayers to you for this is part of our Journey and we are strengthened even if we don't feel it! Blessings of Peace!

  4. Awe Deb, I'm so sorry to hear all of this. My eyes have welled with tears just thinking of what you might be going through. I never know what to say in times like these but I know your faith in God is strong. I just want you to know that you and your family will be in my prayers. Love you :)

  5. Debbie, I am so sorry to hear that your parents are facing such hard times with their health. Your outlook is amazing. I shall be thinking of you.

  6. I'm so sorry for this difficult time in your life, Debbie. I'm praying for you, dear one. {{hug}}

  7. Dearest Debbie, I hope your Saturday is going well. I'm so sorry to hear about both your mom and step dad. I will say that Hospice is incredible, we used them for 7 mos at the end of my sister's battle. They are angels and I would call them to advise you all. Your mom reminds me of my mil; but sweet assurance that you know both will walk on Golden Streets. I think the Lord blesses us with new babies when we are to lose someone dear-it helps with the pain, doesn't make it go away but brings joy back in to our lives. I love seeing Sam, he is such a darling. I dreamt, last night, that my kim had a baby boy.
    Have a great weekend.
    Love, Noreen

  8. Debbie I am sending much love and hugs to you today! I am so touched by this post, and relate in so many ways, though my mom is in great health, I do know that every day with our family whether with our older loved ones or our youngest is most valuable. As I was reading of your lunch with your friend, I was thinking of how Awesome our God is when he orchestrates our days, and how we are to weep with each other and laugh with each other in so doing we draw strength from one another. Thank you for sharing as there are so many of us that relate and are holding you and your family up before our heavenly Father. I always leave blessed and encouraged especially when you share of how you deal with life's challenges. May you continue to find His strength each day as you seek His will for your life.

  9. So sorry to hear all of this. And your post was really beautiful. The hope and faith you shared with us is what I needed to hear as my mom gets ready to face open heart surgery on Wednesday. You can't help but think of the bad, but you made me realize I should focus on the good that the Lord has done throughout our entire lives. Thank you Debbie!

  10. Thank God your parents have children willing to weigh the heavy matters. I think of you with this songm knowing the best is always yet to come:


  11. You have a way of pulling one's heart into what you are sharing, with the rain coming down, the soup on the stove, and the words in closing, "we are just passing through". I hurt for you and your family as you are facing the pain of watching your beloved parents facing all that they are. It definitely is a difficult place to be in life. Thanking for sharing it, so that we can offer prayer for you all when God brings you to mind.

  12. Oh Deb....what sad news. I've been walking this same journey with my sweet Mama and the journey is very tough. It's only through Him that we can carry through.

    I must say that Hospice has been an absolute God send for my mama and family. My heart lurched the first time her docs recommended Hospice...Hospice=death to me and I didn't want to face it. But the Hospice that cares for my mom is absolutely wonderful and the Hospice Chaplain has become a wonderful family friend now.

    As far as the memory meds for your mom. My sis and I felt led to go forward with it. Mama has been on aricept for about 18 months and it has helped somewhat and we have no regrets about putting her on it.

    I'm keeping you, your mom and stepdad and family in my prayers. His strength will carry ya'll through. And His Wisdom will assist you make tough decisions along the journey.


    Love and Hugs!

  13. This is a hard time of life isn't it? To have the joy of new life as you watch your parents fade.
    I think that breaks my heart the most and then the scary part of knowing my kids will have to watch it with me.
    Bittersweet, I think.
    It was a fantastic storm wasn't it?
    It is still muddy here.
    It is hard to believe that it will be 90 by the weekend.
    I know God has you in His hand and you are not alone. It is still hard though. That is when I call my girls and tell them I need a baby to hold. That always helps so much.
    I will be praying for you and your families very hard decisions.

  14. I can relate on so many levels...not the grand kids, but parenting and decisions that need to be mother-in-law is 97 in good health, but needs checked on, my Dad suffering with the stage your mother is in and now completely deaf. It is the cycle of life and yet, it still doesn't make it easier. Knowing they know Christ brings a peace, but our flesh still cries out as the roles change from being their child to being their care giver...never easy on anyone. You are so blessed to have such precious relationships with everyone...not every one enjoys that.

    Blessings to you through this journey and praise God that you experience so much joy with all those grand children....God has truly given you strength for the journey.


I am so glad that you would take the time to comment on my thoughts and feelings, it is such a blessing to me!