Tuesday, October 30, 2012


I decided I would do a Hodgepodge post as I haven't done one in quite a while.  I always enjoy reading these posts when others do them as I enjoy the randomness of it all, and just hearing how others answered the same questions.  So to enjoy the others who participate in this click HERE.

1.  What creeps you out?  Umm, well there are a few things that creep me out, but right at the top of the list are spiders.  Not sure why as most of them are soo harmless of course.  But all their legs just crawling along "creeps" me, haha.

2.  What is your least favorite candy?  Gee, do I have one?  I guess maybe I don't really like Skittles, though I will eat them on rare occasions, haha.  Though my grandson Jeffie just can't understand that.  "How could you NOT like Skittles Grandma?

3.  Are you a fan of scary movies?  What is the scariest movie you have ever seen? NO!  As a general rule I do NOT like scary movies.  The scariest would have to be the Exorcist...I didn't even make it through the whole thing.

4.  What part of life confuses you the most?  I am afraid I am going to over-think this like I always do on these kind of questions.  Off the top of my head I just find it confusing the way some people handle their relationships.  Brothers and sisters who fight and go years without speaking....Moms and dads who are completely estranged from their kids.  I just don't get it, and I am not judging.  It is just that life is short, and though we all get angry and get our feelings hurt now and then, there is just something about forgiveness that frees the soul.  We need to learn to forgive as we are forgiven.

5.  Pumpkin, sunflower, sesame, poppy....what is your favorite seed?  Oh this is an easy one!  I LOVE sunflower seeds.  Always have.  Rather I am biting them out of their shells or eating them shell less warm and salted or sprinkling them on salads, it matters not...LOVE them!

6.  Imagine your life 10 years from today...what's changed?  Well, hopefully MANY things, but keeping it simple, hopefully hubby will be retired and we are spending our days visiting kids and grandkids, lounging on the beach, and enjoying life!

7.  What do you a) love most and b) like least about the Hodgepodge?  Funny, I think I may have already inadvertently answered this.  I like hearing what others have to say about the same questions and just the randomness of it all.  You get to know people on a different level.  And I really don't like the way I get stumped on a question and then over-think it, haha.

8.  Insert your own random thought here....As always I have many thought rumbling around in this head.  Most of them today are about the recent passing of my ex-dil.  When someone that young dies unexpectedly, you find yourself really thinking about just how uncertain this life really is.  We are all so sure usually when we are young, that there is always more time.  But the truth is of course none of us ever know just what day or hour or souls will be required of us, making it soo important of course that we are ready.  Where will my eternity be spent?  Do we know Jesus?  This is all that really matters at the end of the day.  My son John is a graphic artist by day, and a writer at night.  He has written much over the years both published and just laying around.  He has been writing out his thoughts these last few nights about his feelings and thoughts about his ex-wife.  I decided to share a small part of some of it as I think it is just soo good, and I know he wouldn't care as he has already posted it on Facebook for the world to see.  In the beginning section of it he was telling a story of a memory of his where his wife and he had played a game of Trivial Pursuit while sitting on the beach in Long Beach where they lived at the time.   Picking up here he says....

I don't remember much more about that night or the next day.  But as I lay here alone in my room, I can still smell the salt from the breeze, and the exhaust from the tugboats that even on December 24th continued their endless watery toil in the deep harbor waters of San Pedro.  I can see the black and red blanket we used, I remember what shoes I was wearing, and see her blazing green eyes looking into my eyes through those maroon colored Nine West glasses she was wearing.  

It was cool but not cold, it was overcast and dark but still an hour from sunset.  It was Christmas Eve, she was my wife, and we had been married for about a month.

And it was a happy, happy time.  It wasn't perfect, and even that far back there were already health issues and we had our struggles.  But back then the good still bullied the bad into quick submission.  We were a young couple and had our whole lives still before us.

We would only spend two more Christmas's together, neither of us had any inkling that our time together was borrowed, or that Jen's remaining Christmases you would need both hands to count, but would have fingers to spare.

After the game she pulled out her guitar and we sang Christmas songs, and then Jen sang some Bob Dylan and "Father and Son" by Cat Stevens, and then we got up and walked home.

What happened after that I do not recall.  I am sure we went out to eat and then probably watched a movie downstairs at the theater, but that is only a guess, because there is one part of that day that is carved into the granite of my memory, and another part of that day and night that is like a thousand others, lost to me in the mist of memory.

And what strikes me is how much I didn't know then.  How much she didn't know then.  And how neither of us would guess that so large a chunk of our lives, shared, would be lost to that to big forgetfulness of unobserved history.

The non remarkable days.  The sink stopped up.  The Japanese food delivery that forgot her shrimp tempura.  The trip back home to retrieve a forgotten purse.   A paper cut.  The million billion little details that will one day lie precious and totally forgotten; a casualty of the arrogance of youth and the infirmity of the human mind.

And in those times, and in our shared memories, and in the ones only I can recall and vice versa, is the sum total of our lives, together and apart, in a number that once grew every minute of every day, until it ran out and would grow no more....John Class

A friend of Jennifer's put this video of her together.  It is Jennifer singing.  What a beautiful voice she had.  She sang, played guitar and wrote her own music and lyrics.  I am soo grateful she did this so we have it now to have for always....ENJOY

I labored over this post and after a good two hours LOST IT....yes LOST IT...and I could have just cried.  There was no way after all of that I wasn't going to re-do it, so here it is.  For some reason I can't find the thing to post this later, so it is here now, a day early, haha.


  1. Wow Debbie...I am speechless..I am stopping right now and pray for all of you...so, so sorry for your loss.


  2. Your son's writing is excellent! I am so sorry for your loss.

  3. I'm with Jeffie - How could you not like skittles?

    So sorry to hear that *hugs*

  4. I too tend to over think some of the questions at times and have a hard time answering them when I do.
    I would have to agree with Jeffie on the Skittles thing. I love them, but then I tend to like the tart candies.
    I totally agree with you on # 4. How families can allow things come between them is beyond me. I may not see my brothers and sister often, but we do at least talk and check in with each other either on Face Book or by phone often. And, I see my kids at least once a week!! I have a couple of friends who only see their kids at Christmas time and speak to them very little in between, I could never do that. I enjoy my "me" time, but love and want the connection with my family.
    Your son writes beautifully. So sorry about your daughter in law.

  5. Please tell your son to keep writing. My granddaughter doesn't understand why I don't like Facebook and says the same as your grandson about Skittles.

  6. Over thinking questions is definite a problem we share. That was also a heartful story at the end. Thanks for sharing.

  7. I'm with you on the spiders and with your grandson on the Skittles.

  8. Amen on #4. And your son's writing is beautiful... I'm so sorry for your loss.

  9. I, too, tend to overthink the more difficult questions.

    I never watched The Exorcist ... I could tell that it would be just too scary for me.

    Your son's writing is so beautiful. Still praying for you and your family at this difficult time.

  10. I know how you're feeling/thinking....on your random answer....we lost our ex-sil on July 8th of last year....it's a shock, but he was a drinker, and probably worked at killing himself with drink over all those years. Still, at 43, much too young.

  11. What a beautiful post. And your daughter in law.....oh how I have thought of her. Such loss. So sad. Her voice was beautiful! She was a very exotic beauty!!
    So sorry.
    XO Kris

  12. This is very nice, oh my gosh, don't you just hate when you work on a post and then it is just gone.
    I hope you have a very nice day. I had to laugh about the Exorcist. I have never been so scared in my life. My best friend and I went to see it and we spent the last half of the movie, on our knees on the floor of the theater praying for Jesus to live in our hearts and save us. :) We ran all the way to the car when it was over. Have a nice day.

  13. I blog-hopped over from Joyce's Hodgepodge and just wanted to say that I thought your post was really, really moving. Your son has a gift of writing, and without knowing him or his wife I am touched by their story so much it brought a lump to my throat. God bless you and your family (a very handsome family too judging by your photos down the side of your site - you all share the same beautiful smile!!) and I am sorry the pain of your loss is still being felt today.
    Best wishes, Pam

  14. I'm with you on the Skittles...not a fan, at all. My girls, on the other hand, love them! So sorry to hear the news about your former DIL...she sure was beautiful and quite the talent. Praying for you all!

  15. Hi dear friend, I like reading your answers. Sometimes computers can be so frustrating! I so agree on families not getting along; in fact my hubby's family has lots of issues and some haven't talked in several years. I just don't get it. Praying for peace over Jennifer-for all of you!
    Hugs, Noreen

  16. Wow; Jennifer was very talented! So sad to read of her death at such a young age. So sad for your son and family. Life is short and it does put things into perspective. We never know when our time will come so we must be prepared to meet our Lord.

    I sympathize with you after losing your post. I had worked on one for much longer than normal and poof ...still don't know what happened. People have recommended that I write in Word and cut and paste but I still don't take the time to do that.

    Blessings and love and hugs to you Deb,

  17. My sister lost her husband suddenly a couple of years ago when he was just 45. I remember how stunned we all were...trying to make sense of it...you can't. What a blessing to have her singing recorded...it was beautiful. Praying for you and your family

  18. I had noticed the missing "hodge podge" posts and am glad to see you do one.

    And I loved what your John wrote. He is extremely gifted with words. Just beautiful.

    She was a beautiful girl, and her voice just goes with her face perfectly, if that makes sense. I'm so sorry that she passed so young!

  19. Still praying for your loss! So sad.

    I am right with you on the spiders!!!

    We're doing okay. Still without power and it's so cold in the house. Please pray for my mom, she lives 3 houses down and this is becoming very hard for her. We are in a hotel for the night, but all we could get was one night. Thank you!

  20. I'm just now trying to catch up on some of last week's Hodgepodge. I'm so sorry for your son's loss and yours too. I'm sure his unresolved feelings make grieving moe difficult. I will keep him in my prayers...his writing is beautiful.


I am so glad that you would take the time to comment on my thoughts and feelings, it is such a blessing to me!