Monday, July 1, 2013

AN EMOTIONAL WEEK-END...


Well another June has come and gone and July has come in with a blaze.  It was not only just downright hot this week-end, but we experienced some very uncharacteristic humidity as well.  Kind of had the feeling of a steam bath or sauna, haha.  I can tell you this for sure, it made me appreciate the fact that humidity is NOT our usual weather calamity.  Even as far inland as we are, those ocean breezes are felt and appreciated.  

This is one of those times where I really wish I could write the way I'd really like to in order to express everything that is floating around in my head in a way that would cause you all to understand just how I am feeling.  But I will just have to do the best I can.  Friday and Saturday were soo full and busy there wasn't much time for reflection in some ways, and yet in others it felt like that was all I was doing.  As we began first with sorting through mom's sewing paraphernalia my emotions fluttered from excited over all there was to look at, to sad over all she was in the middle of and yet didn't finish, to happy I can pick up some of her work and maybe complete it, to awestruck over all she had done that I had NEVER seen and had no idea she was capable of, to sad again as I saw how her work suffered as she aged and fought her various different physical limitations.  Mom had moved pretty much ALL of her sewing and crafty projects to my house when she had moved in last summer thinking that she would eventually be able to pick it up and work on again.  It never happened.  I am choosing NOT to dwell on the fact that while we definitely shared this interest, we never did actually do it together.  My sister Diane and I are the only two in the family who shared this interest with mom, so between the two of us we divided up all that was worth keeping and maybe using someday.  It took us pretty much the entire afternoon.  One of our most exciting finds was SEVERAL quilting squares that were put together by my great step grandmother years and years ago.  Some of the color combinations were (how to say this?) somewhat bizarre I guess is one way, haha, and I love to know the story behind them.  But I am hoping that as I learn to do some quilting this year, I can take the squares I inherited and fashion a beautiful quilt out of them.  I have not taken any pictures of these squares yet, but I will eventually and show you.  They have all been put together by hand of course, and her needle work was skilled and perfectly even.  And then, since my hubby was in Arizona with my sons celebrating his dad's 84th birthday, Diane and I went out to dinner and to see a movie.  What a GOOD time we had.  With all of Diane's many responsibilities, we don't get this opportunity often anymore, and we both enjoyed our time together.  Then Sat. rolled around and my other two sisters arrived and brought with them all the rest of mom's things to sort through and figure out.  There was sooo much!  And the funny part is so much of this had been weeded through a year ago when my step dad passed and mom had to sell her house and move in with her daughters.  It is sooo amazing just how much a person accumulates on this earth, and yet just leaves behind when they gone.  Makes you wonder why we save what we do, and spend so much of our time collecting and acquiring.  But after HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS, we completed our job.  There was A LOT of things (especially clothes) that none of her daughters decided to keep and a HUGE HUGE pile of things to get rid of began piling up.   But in talking with our next door neighbor we found out that she supports a local house that provides temporary shelter for abused women, and gladly accepted all we would bag and box up for her to deliver to them.  My husband began loading her car and trunk and filled it to over flowing.  She told us she would have plenty of help on the other end to unload it, and I was REALLY glad to hear it.  I know mom would be soo pleased to know that so many of her things will be put to good use, but many who are in real need.  I am sure I don't have to tell you how strange this all was.  Needless to say we all resorted to tears many times through the day, but also found ourselves laughing and remembering sweet moments in time as well.  So this morning her closet has been emptied, her dresser drawers and cupboard shelves are bare, and my heart is just downright heavy.  I am leaving the outside appearances of mom being here (her beautiful bedroom furniture, her dresser and nightstand decorations, pictures on the wall etc.) right where they were, so upon glancing in her room all seems the same. She kept it neat as a pin right to the very end.  Eventually I will probably make some changes, but for now I want them right where she had them.  I also wanted to keep her purse for some reason.  I carried that thing around for her for the last year and dug through it daily looking for what she needed, and was on a constant mission to find where she had sat it seemed, as she liked to have it near her, and now for some reason I can't bear to get rid of it.  It is hanging on a hanger in the empty closet (which is kind of forlorn looking I guess), but it will remain there perhaps for many years.  I will admit it bothered me for a while when I thought of her things divided and gone, and yet quickly came back around to the fact that no matter where her "things" are, they are just "things".  She is in heaven with the Lord, waits there for all of us, and we will see and talk to her again.  And in the meantime I have a lifetime of memories to dwell on.  Friday and Saturday were such long, hot, emotional days that I was VERY tempted to sit home yesterday and not do much at all.  How grateful I am that I did not!  My son's message at church yesterday spoke to my spirit like few others have done.  It was just soo good.  The only way to describe it was he was definitely soo anointed by the Holy Spirit yesterday, it was truly a privilege to experience.  Several came forward to give their lives to the Lord, and the real purpose and meaning of our lives here on this earth became so apparent again, that it broke through my hurting heart and mind, and brought comfort and peace like only God can.  After church we sat in one of favorite restaurants with them and lingered in sweet conversations for over an hour or more even after we had finished eating.  It was a long, emotional, and yet uplifting week-end.  They were having a church baptism last night as well, but we decided to head home.  We still needed to go grocery shopping, and I was just soo tired.  However! my 8 year old grand daughter Capri (James's oldest child) apparently decided she too wanted to get baptized and my son was able to baptize her as well last night.  Had grandma known that she would have stayed to witnessed it, but I am rejoicing nonetheless this morning.  She is such a sweet girl, and her little mind is mature beyond her years.  I am going to share a few pictures with you (remember I have to put all of my favorites somewhere in my blog posts so that they will be recorded when I print up my books since I do not print pictures anymore) that I think you might enjoy.  I am hopefully going to finish up my quilt this week, and I've all my Monday chores to get to yet, so I will sign this off now.  Hope you all enjoy your week...and hopefully we will all find a cool place to be.  Blessings, Debbie

SOO GRATEFUL SOMEONE CAPTURED THIS MOMENT.  LOVE THE LOOK ON HER FACE AS SHE LOOKS AT HER DADDY
LOVE THIS PIC FOR SOME REASON.  THEIR DOG BAXTER FOLLOWS SAM AROUND.  NOTICE THE  JOHN DEER QUILT I MADE THERE ON THE BED.  FIT IT PERFECTLY I AM PLEASED TO SEE

CAME UP WITH THIS ON HIS OWN TO WATCH MICKEY MOUSE!  SOO SMART, HAHA

HE PEERS UNDER THE BATHROOM DOOR WHEN MEL IS IN THERE...THERE IS NO ESCAPE MOMMY, HAHA
LUKE JEFFREY IS ALREADY A MONTH OLD...SOO SWEET!

LOVED THIS!

MELODY TOOK THIS UP THIS WEEK-END, HAHA



2 comments:

  1. Oh, Debbie, how well I remember going through my Moms "things" and all the different emotions that went along with it. I have two brothers and they just sort of left it up to me. So nice that you have sisters to share it with.

    So thankful for your sewing and the therapy that it provides for you during this difficult time.

    Blessings to you!

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  2. Hard to believe Mel just had a baby!
    I can imagine your heart is so full with all the happenings this weekend; from your g'daughters baptism to the sorting of your Mother's goods and your son's inspired sermon.
    Oh, a heart has to expand with so much fullness!
    It's a good life Debbie and you are blessed.

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I am so glad that you would take the time to comment on my thoughts and feelings, it is such a blessing to me!