Tuesday, June 2, 2009

IT IS WHAT IT IS........

Well, I have been so busy recently setting up my "new" blog page that I haven't done much actual blogging....I do have it pretty much the way I want it now, haha, though I have left room to add new pics that are for one reason or another irresistible...

We had a really busy week-end as Jimmy and his family came up on Sat., and stayed until 10:30 Sunday night. Jimmy had Sun. off, which of course is not usually the case, so he decided to take advantage of it by coming up and staying so he could go to our church with us. Naturally as it turned out, Dave was not there, but the guy who taught was really very good. Larissa's favorite Bible teacher was going to give the study on Sunday night, so they decided to go back and hear him as well. He is one of Jeff's favorites too. I stayed home with Capri and JD and we had a good time together. I had never heard of this preacher, but they all raved about him so much I think I will have to get one of his tapes and listen to him for myself. We really did not do much of anything other than that, but sit around and talk etc. We did play with the the Wii quite a bit, or I guess they played, and I watched....The kids were darling as usual, and Joe brought Jeffie and Lindsey over a couple of times as well. Capri and I had our first trip out alone together when we went to Target to get some new Littlest Pet shop gear for Grandma's house. We had such a good time...She is TOTALLY adorable is the only way to describe it. It was definitely a week-end high for me. We bbq Sat. night and had quite the feast. All in all it was a very enjoyable week-end....I LOVE these kind of week-ends, but the house seems so quite after they go.

Melody comes tomorrow.....and I have turned into such a weird person I actually have mixed feelings about it all. I am not sure why I am admitting this, though I imagine I probably haven't fooled most of you anyway....haha I have tried to analyze (shocker!) why I feel like I do, and here is what I have come up with. While she is here I kind of go into another world. Or maybe it is my "old" world. It almost seems as if she never left. We hash and chew and go and do and just plain enjoy just being together. We get caught up on stories and chew the old ones that we like to do, to stumps. The other kids come over and we are all together again. For a few days I don't really think about much else, and all is well with my world. And then she leaves....and I am left behind in the dust dwelling again on the fact that she is gone and it will be WEEKS until I see her again. I try to tell myself, it could be MONTHS or even YEARS....some people have to live with that...I try to tell myself all the pat answers that there is to say and KNOW they are all true. I can talk to her everyday, (and I usually do) she is HAPPY with her life (and she is)I am happy and busy with mine as well. She can post pics about what she is on so I can "see" her too, and she promises that she will SOON....I want her right where she is at as I believe in my heart this is where God wants her to be.....AND YET....I hate it...I keep thinking I will eventually work in and stop complaining, and I try, honest I do. Most of the time recently, I do better than you might think so it IS getting easier to an extent. But then she comes, and I LOVE her being here, and I go right back to my place of hating it when she leaves.....thus, the mixed feelings...How horrible is that?? The closer it is to her being here, is the closer it is till she is leaving again, and I have to go back to WEEKS again before she is.....It is utterly ridiculous I am very well aware. I guess what I have found surprising is, I have an actual and tangible "need" to be with my daughter. She gets me in a way that no one else really does, and yet that isn't really what it is...I just want her here.....But here is the bottom line, cuz there always has to be a bottom line for me...haha, IT IS WHAT IT IS.....and how I hate that little saying....but it is true. The only way this can ever be bearable is right there in my own attitude. I HAVE to make it work and have the right one. Otherwise, I could pitch over into despair with no way out. I am a VERY blessed person and I WILL focus on all I do have. I will enjoy every moment that she is here, and wait patiently until she's back. I will try not to complain. I will ask God to help me with my attitude, and I've NO DOUBT that He will. He knows if anyone does, how I love her, and He understands, even if no one else quite gets it, or thinks I am being ridiculous. Sooooo, on that note, I CAN'T WAIT until she is here tomorrow.....yeah!!! My Melly is coming......

I posted a few pics of our week-end, SOMEDAY I will figure out how to leave captions under each pic that is posted along with a blog, but so far whatever I try does not work, it is hard being a dork, but again, it is what it is....haha


  1. As soon as I saw the title of your post, I knew what it was going to say........ It pretty much does sum up the reality of the situation. I am so glad for you that Mel is coming. ENJOY your time!

  2. I must have used the phrase "It is what it is" a hundred times yesterday. It's so appropriate. Sometimes, it just helps to embrace that.

  3. Oh my gosh, I have had the sound turned off for a few days and I just heard your song! What a STUN!


I am so glad that you would take the time to comment on my thoughts and feelings, it is such a blessing to me!