Sunday, March 28, 2010

FEELING A LITTLE SAD

Well, it is close to 10 on Sunday evening and I am sitting here with a large collection of very different feelings, and I never did get up my Spiritual Sunday post, the first one I missed in several months.   It was a GOOD week, full of fun times, wonderful conversations, and lots of new memories were made. I am happy that the Lord blessed me with this week with my daughter, and yet so very sad that she is gone. Melody living in another state has been such a weird experience for me. I am don't have any doubt that there are many of you who understand how I feel, and sympathize, but I am sure there are at least a few who think to themselves, "move on and get over it". She has grown up, married and moved away and all is as it should be. And this is of course very true. It is just like so many other things that have happened in life. You are just so sure it will never happen to you. And yet, here I am. In the scheme of things sooo many other fates could (and might still someday) befall me that are indeed sooo much worse than your only daughter moving away, that I feel FULL of guilt for even complaining. I honestly do. She is happy with her husband. She is busy finishing her final semester of student teaching and plans on applying soon for a full time teaching job. I am excited for her. I talk to her for at least a few minutes every day, and we of course still occasionally have our long conversations on the phone. But of course I don't have to tell you it is just not the same. I want to see her face. Hug her if I feel like it. Have lunch out with her every couple of weeks or so at least. Shop with her when one of us needs something or just for no reason at all. Have her and Mike a part of our family celebrations and get togethers. Little Donatella and Cody don't even know who she is, and Donatella was even a little afraid of her. She didn't even get to see Annabel, and barely was around Lindsey. I don't know her new friends. Haven't even met them. All things of course that are perfectly normal for people who don't live around each other. A FULL week was good. It gave us a lot of time to REALLY talk. We caught up on our stories. We shopped, lunched out, had her hair done, got to see Jessie's bridal dress and she got measured for her bridesmaid dress. She got to see most of her best friends. She visited with Mike's mom and with his grandmother. And Friday night we had a surprise birthday party for my youngest son Jimmy who will be 30 on April 7th. It was of course a couple of weeks early to accommodate Mel's visit and really helped in surprising him. I will write more about that later. It was soo much fun. Almost everyone was there. Around 38 people counting all the little ones. She got to meet John's new girl friend. Such a nice girl and a good match for him we are thinking. All in all it was just such a good week. I enjoyed every single minute of it, and by the way, felt REALLY good the whole time. Thank you Jesus...So as you can clearly see MOST of my feelings tonight are good ones. Soo many good times to thumb back over in the pages of my mind whenever I want to. And yet I feel overwhelming sad at the same time. I can't explain sometimes how much I miss having her around. BUT....I do know, having a little experience with her leaving now, that I will work out of this mood and move along. (as I tell my kids) I will set my mind on all the good times we had and look forward to seeing that face again and be ever soo grateful that it will probably only be a few months. I know some people have to go years sometimes. They have my deepest sympathy by the way. But tonight I will allow myself to feel sad. But just tonight. Tomorrow with the Lord's help I will be back to my normal "perky" self and get busy with some things that have not had my attention since I was sick for 3 weeks, recovered for another and then had the whole week with her. Lots of things to do. Tomorrow I am hoping to get together the pics of the birthday party. I got some really cute ones. So hopefully this depressing little post won't be up very long. Many thanks to all of you who prayed I'd be healthy for her visit, and were soo happy for me that she was here. God bless you all....

6 comments:

  1. Glad you enjoyed your visit and I hope you feel better about her leaving! Seems like you have a great relationship with your daughter! That is something to be really thankful for. Enjoy your day!

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  2. I, too, sister Debbie was the only daughter and left my parents early to study here and it took many years before I visited my parents when they were here. I couldn't imagine my mom's feelings being close with her. So I think I can relate to what you said about your daughter being back again to where she lives now.

    I'm glad that you have that one week, though short, to catch up with creating wonderful memories, not only with your daughter but also with other members of the family. But it's hard...to know that there will be those days of longing, of needing, of wishing...I pray that these precious memories you all had will give you comfort. You're a loving mom and that's how it's going to be...Keeping everyone close to your heart, no matter where they are! God bless you sister and may you find comfort from Him! I still remember the precious pics you shared last time from the party at Long Beach. Beautiful family!

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  3. Morning Debbie. It sounds like you had a very busy time with your daughter here in town. I know how badly you miss her. I felt the same way when my daughter Gennifer lived in Idaho. I was out of sorts that entire year. Thank heavens for visits. I am glad you are feeling back to your old self again too. And thank you for your sweet birthday wishes. I used to celebrate all month, but these days, I am pretty tied to the house what with taking care of my grandson and all, so the celebrating has been toned down.
    Have a great week!

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  4. Dear Debbie, I am so sad for you , as you know I have experienced this many times with Susan. And it's okay to feel this way.My heart and prayers are with you today.
    Sending much love and hugs your way.
    Sue

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  5. Hi Debbie,
    I am so glad you had a great week with Mel. I was waiting for this post, because I knew she would be returning home this past weekend. You are right, it isn't the same and unless they are there right in front of you for a little squeeze but it sounds like you had a perfect visit.
    You sound like you are on the road to that healthy, and happy old self of yours and that is a blessing. Stay happy and she will be back before you know it. Meanwhile, there is always the phone :)
    Enjoy your day
    Maryrose

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  6. Debbie,

    I know how terribly hard it is to be separated from your daughter. When I began dating my DH my mom and stedad lived in Atlanta. We both HATED IT. I cried and cried and couldn't understand how I would be a wife and a mom without her around and close to share things with. She felt the same way! It ended happily because the weekend we got married they moved home and stood up for us at our wedding! (the 2nd for both of us so it wasn't big)

    I wonder ~ does the two of you have Skype? and cameras on your computer? If you don't....check into it...it is sooo easy to download and then you can see each other and/or she could see her siblings and nieces/nephews every day if they wanted to! I could not have done it at my dads this summer without Skype! I talked to my DH every night!!!

    Sending big hugs to you today my friend!!! and asking the Lord to comfort you in a powerful way!!
    Love you

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I am so glad that you would take the time to comment on my thoughts and feelings, it is such a blessing to me!