I have spent some time in the last few days reflecting back over this last year. I found myself reading back over my own blog posts as it is really a pretty good record of not only what went on, but where my heart and spirit were as well. I was amazed at times how much I felt I learned about the Lord and remembered my deep desire to share just as much as I could with all of you. I also was reminded how much I have learned from you, and how inadequate I felt in comparison sometimes to some of the deep truths that many of you were able to convey. Your knowledge of the scriptures and your ability to relate them to our everyday lives both inspired and encouraged me to want to know more. I’ve prayed that the Lord might give me a verse to claim for this year, or a word to focus on, and truthfully that is still a work in progress. But I do know this. I am not who I want to be. I am pretty sure I can count on that never being accomplished until the day I draw my last breath here on this earth as nothing more than a mere human being. God is FAR from finished with me. There is much work to be done. I take a few steps forward only to find myself still falling into old patterns and ways. I’ve gained back most of the weight I lost and will have to begin AGAIN (and not that I ever got to where I was supposed to be in the first place). I still worry and fret at times over things I have no control over. My tongue has yet to be tamed, and I know I have experienced many moments of envy and jealousy over at times what might be considered to be unlikely by most. I am sure many of you would be surprised over what might bring this particular emotion out in me, haha
2010 was a difficult year for me. It brought my first bout ever of pneumonia, a diagnosis of breast cancer, a double mastectomy, and a move out of our home of almost 25 years. I have found myself in a senior citizens park and I am STILL surprised that I am indeed old enough to be here. ; ) I am still missing my ONLY daughter who lives 1000 miles away from me; and the knowledge that she will bring her family up not living close enough for me to be involved in their everyday life, still saddens me. The arthritis in my knees has progressed to the point that knee replacement surgery is a certainty just as soon as I get enough weight off to do it; and in the meantime I hobble everywhere I go, and in quite a bit of pain as well. My mother had a stroke, and the passing of the years has been hammered home in a very real way. There are other stories that have directly involved me and my family that were sooo difficult to deal with I can’t even really explain them, and are WAY too personal to share. Yes, a difficult year….
And yet!! I can tell you with a moment’s hesitation of the faithfulness of our God. He has walked ever so patiently with me through every trial, hardship and sadness. He has put a joy in my heart that can only come from knowing Him. A peace down deep in my soul that surpasses anything this world has to offer. The knowledge (through His Son and His work on the cross) of where my eternity will be spent brings me comfort and hope. This world and our journey’s here are indeed only temporary. While we live here on this earth we are NOT promised lives that are free of the hardships of life. But we are promised His love, His forgiveness, His mercy, His grace, and His salvation. 2011 is upon us. I pray that this next year will bring me closer to Him, and that I might be willing and ready to be used in any way He might see fit to use me. My biggest goal of this year is to love others the way He loves them. Sounds easy enough in some ways, but to love as He loves can only be accomplished but allowing His Holy Spirit to dwell in us in such a way that He lives through us, and we have NO choice but to love as He would love. HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all, and may the Lord richly bless you in this coming year.
1 John 4:7-8 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God, and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
To join the other Spiritual Sunday posts click HERE....It is a wonderful way to start the New Year! Soo many thanks to Charlotte and Ginger for hosting this wonderful event every Sunday.