|THIS PIC OF HER STILL MAKES ME TEAR UP, BUT I AM GETTING BETTER|
As Mother's Day approaches, (the second one without my sweet mom) my thoughts this week have been on her and the mark she left on me and my brother's and sisters. I still miss her every single day of course, and yet it is has (at least at times) fallen much more into the category of smiling at treasured memories, and letting my mind linger and imagine all the things she might have said had she still been here, rather then the sharp stab of sorrow and grief. How I wish she would have lived to hear that Melody finally gave birth to a girl. We had a few conversations in her last year about that. She didn't live to see sweet Luke or Vinny of course either, but she knew those boys were on the way. She soo wanted Mel to have a daughter as she wanted her to know that relationship when she was older. Not that there wouldn't be all the fun along the way of course, but that adult relationship between mother and daughter is a hard one not to know. In many ways I couldn't agree more. My mother was far from perfect. That is a hard thing to verbalize sometimes, especially after they are gone. But she had 6 children, and a VERY demanding husband, and her attention therefore as I was growing up was very hard to come by sometimes, especially when you are one of the older ones and the littler ones always seemed to be "needing" something or another. But as we all got older and my mom had finished raising her children, our relationship fell into an area that I can only describe as nearly perfect. Or at least as close to it as it can be this side of heaven. She had a way of loving and encouraging me, praising me, cheering me on, and wanting so much for me that who couldn't be happy in such a relationship? But it was much more then that. We just "got" each other. Do you know what I mean? How many times we laughed and cried together over the simplest thing, or enjoyed just sitting and being in each other's company. We both enjoyed a good book, a quick and competitive game of cards, sewing and quilting, a good cup of tea, and SWEETS. I am quite certain my sweet tooth came from my mom, though she NEVER struggled with her weight the way I have, lol. My love of God began with her, and we prayed together too many times to really count or imagine as the years went by. She leaned on me, I leaned on her. And even though we were the closest of just plain old cherished "friends" in her later years, she was always somehow just my mom as well. The older and older I become, the more and more I understand and treasure my mom. I will miss her desperately until the day I see her face again in heaven I am very, very sure. It's one relationship that can never be duplicated or replaced, and I would never even try or want to for that matter.
I want to wish all of you mom's out there a wonderful day this Sunday. If you still have your mom to treasure on this earth DO so, and enjoy every minute of it!