Monday, March 9, 2009

BITTERSWEET

Well, the visits over...I've just returned from dropping her at the airport and I can't say I'm feeling real perky. It's always such a weird feeling...from the minute she gets in that car until the moment she gets back out, it is honestly as if she never left. I wonder when it will eventually change, as it no doubt will.
Eventually it will seem much more regular that she is gone, than that she never left...I've no doubt I've beat this to death with anyone who can hear my droning voice to now reading my typed words, so I will "try",and keep this nipped. I try and squeeze as many moments into these visits that I can so I will have enough to get me by until she's back. The time of course squealed by (as I knew it would) and I felt like I hadn't really had her to myself for any big length of time. When we picked her up (LATE) Wed., John and Jeff were with me and we came straight home and went straight to bed. The next morning we drove out to Jessie's for the hair pop, which took most of the day and by the time we got home we had about an hour (if that) before Jeff was home and we left to meet John for dinner. When we got back, Mel left to meet her friend Jen B. for frozen yogurt, and then Mel headed over to Mike's best friends Ben house where Tim, and Ed and Mike's sister Brooke had all gathered for a little get together. The next morning, Mel left early to get her nails done (she's yet to find a place in Hobbs she really likes, so she always does that here for a little treat) and then picked up our books for me and we had Bible study and lunch. When that was over, Mel needed to shower and get ready for her night, and we had a "little" time for a hash before she left. She met Joanna and Amanda and Cindy & Taylor for dinner and then they all headed over to Cindy's house to play their famous Catchphrase, and to have dessert. Amanda came back with her to spend the night as she had come all the way down from Bakersfield and it was too far to drive back that night. Then the next morning she got up and dressed and went and had breakfast with Katie and got back maybe 15 min. or so before Jimmy and his fam. landed in for the day. Joe and & his arrived around 4:30, and it was well after 10 before everyone left and we all headed off to bed beat. Now we were to Sun., and I was feeling like when was "my" time going to be..... but that was when Mel and & I FINALLY sat down in the upstairs chairs with our tea and coffee cups and hashed and chewed for almost 3 hours.....it was just like old times (though we never used to sit there that long) and was quite wonderous....then, Mel and I headed out to have lunch with Mike's mom...and upon arriving back from that, Mel headed out to meet Jenny Cade at her new apartment and visit with her. By the time she got back, we headed straight out for Joe's house for dinner. He had invited us the night before, and it worked for all of us, so we did. Leah made Spaghetti and Meatballs and it was really good....we got home around 9 and turned on John and mine's famous "Big Love" show hoping we could hook Mel on, which I think we might have. haha We headed off to bed and she had to leave by 6:45 this morning and that is it.....I enjoyed it all very much, especially the time the whole fam. was together on Sat.....but it went so fast. It always does. I'm sitting here in the left over mess dreading picking it all up and putting it away, not only because I'm lazy and can't bear it, but because it just makes it MORE all over if you know what I mean. Mel enjoyed herself but was ready to go.....she was missing Mike, and he was done with the whole thing....haha It is all as it should be..everyone is where they belong for now, living their lives and doing what we were meant to do.....I honestly think I am the only one who looks around at the toys still laying around, the dishes waiting to be done, the unmade bed she scurried out of this morning and the bathroom trash full of her make-up q-tips and cotton balls (which I haven't seen since she was here at Christmas time) in a bathroom that usually sets unused now that she is gone, and wonder how it all went by so fast and how it is that she not only really doesn't live here anymore...but has moved so far away. I did just eat the last bowl of the cereal we got her, so that's officially that...haha I'm going to do my best to just be grateful she was here, not whine about how long it might be before I see her again, (though it could be a while) be grateful for all of those who I do have right here for me to see whenever I would like to, and be happy with all the Lord has blessed me with, but I think it might take me at least a day or two....

4 comments:

  1. Sometimes there is nothing to do but "feel" the pain. It will get better. I hate to see you sad......................

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  2. Twist, sorry that you are feeling so sad even though yes I understand you are looking to the positive. I am sure it is really hard. I of course can only imagine considering my kids are both so young. And, hopefully it will be a long long time before I am in your shoes. It does however make me feel more grateful for where I am in life. Love you, Spin

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  3. Oh I know all to well how you feel. I am suppose to see Crystal and Katelynn the first of April. Justin and I are flying to Oregon for my dads 75th Suprise party. Crystal is going to drive down and meet us. I can not wait. Her and I miss each other so much. !! I have to agree " how did it all go by soooo fast"

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  4. Oh Rhonda I am soo perky for you...I'm really glad this is happening for you. How long are you staying??? I know you are someone who can soo totally relate to what I am going through, yet you have had to already add on not getting to see your grand daughter either. That still looms for me...I don't have to say it cuz I know you and Crystal will have a wonderous time and Katelynn is just the frosting..

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I am so glad that you would take the time to comment on my thoughts and feelings, it is such a blessing to me!