THE LORD IS GOOD...

I read Psalm 101 this morning during my devotional time and was struck again by how much of my state of mind depends upon the choices I make everyday. The choice to walk with Him, lean on Him, and keep my eyes fixed on Him.

I will sing of mercy and justice; to You oh Lord I will sing praises. I will behave wisely in a perfect way. Oh, when will You come to me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. Psalm 101:1-3

I have been struggling for a while now with a tremendous amount of pain in my knees. Now I am not one to go to the doctors unless I feel I have no alternative, but after 5 straight months of pain I FINALLY went and a couple of tests later I have been diagnosed with a pretty advanced case of arthritis. I have also pretty much struggled a good deal of my life with my weight. It's funny though looking back to when I was in my 20's, and 30's, and even some of my 40's, what I "thought" was a HUGE problem really only amounted to 15 or 20 pounds. Somewhere in my mid 40's however, it simply seemed to get away from me and it turned into a truly frightening number on the scale. Apparently, my weight was a LARGE contributing factor as to why my arthritis is so advanced. I've worried about heart problems, and high blood pressure and diabetes, but I had NO IDEA that arthritis was even a possibility. I wonder if it would have stopped me though if I am being honest, as the other threats were real and always looming and yet I ate on. ANYWAY, apparently what is done is done and I have to move on from here. I began the "diet" (as I've mentioned I know MANY times, sorry, haha) and have managed to painstakingly chisel off 28 pounds. The food is good, and with all the fresh veggies and fruits (and an occasional Golden Spoon) I am really not feeling deprived at all. It is annoying at times as I must remember to bring my food along where ever I go, and my beloved eating out adventures have been nipped for now, and I have had to attend SEVERAL events with basically my hands tied behind my back to keep out of the "goodies", but it really is doable, even for me. My problem recently has been finding some form of exercise that I can do that won't buckle my knees and make them throb. I've been disgusted with myself for a while now as for several months before Mel's wedding I was diligently doing the treadmill that we have, 30 to 40 min. a day, 4 or 5 days a week!! I lost 75 pounds for her wedding, and sadly put 50 of them back on in the year after she moved away. But I regress....28 are back off and I am on my way again. I have looked at that Treadmill and wondered if I would ever again step on it and put in my time and actually not collapse in pain afterwards. Today, after my prayer time I felt the Lord was telling me to just get on and see what happened. I turned the thing on and heard the familiar whirl noise and began. I actually felt excitement that I had forced myself to do it. 8 minutes later I turned it off, and began to access "how" I felt. I am not going to lie. I was a little sore. One of my knees a little worse than the other. BUT!! not nearly as bad as I feared. I was not collapsing, and felt (like before) somewhat energized from there. I went on to work some laundry, did up the dishes, watered out back, and here I am. Now I have had to take some Tylenol, and I am icing my knees as I type. But I did it!! My goal is to slowly add a few minutes a day and eventually be back up to 20 min or so at least 3 times a week. I guess it remains to be seen how I will be feeling later on today, but so far so good.. I guess I am also hoping as the weight slowly eeks off I will put less and less pressure on my knees and become more and more mobile. The doc. told me that knee replacement surgery was in my future, but who knows?? Maybe the Lord has something else in mind for me. But either way, I will trust the Lord, keep my eyes on Him, and continually sing His praises. Maybe the treadmill won't be my way of getting the exercise I need, but there's always the swimming pool in my backyard to try next...sigh..Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you all, Melody is NOT coming afterall on the 10th of Oct. as she has a school things she cannot get out of....she is trying to work something else out to maybe come for a week-end sometime in Oct. Hopefully, that will happen. In the meantime, I can't bear to remove my little ticker thing until I know what to replace it with...I MISS her for sure, but I am glad she is as good as she's ever been about her responsibilies for school. But I am thinking we will both be glad when she is FINALLY done....