Today is Spiritual Sunday and I have thought and prayed for a few days now on what I might share this week. Truthfully, I talked for a while with my son John about this, and he encouraged me to share something from my heart that has had a profound effect on my life. The story is long, and I apologize for that, but at the end you will see "why" it was so significant to me.
If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say this to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you...Matthew 17:20
For God, there is no problem too complex, no force too strong, and no enemy too powerful. If we don't believe our prayers are effective, they won't be. It's just that simple, and yet that profound. Webster describes the word faith as "unquestioning belief that does not require proof or evidence, unquestioning belief in God, a religion or a system of religious beliefs, anything believed, complete trust, confidence or reliance."
Hebrews 11:1 tells us that "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
To me, these verses describe a mighty God who can do anything at all, however large or small. I believe in life that everyone at different times, depending on their circumstances, has differing capacities for faith. But while our ability to have faith in God is limited as human beings, God's ability to protect and care for us has no limit.
When I was 25 years old, I had been married for a few years and had 2 young boys and a brand new baby. To say I was somewhat overwhelmed would have been putting it mildly. We faced most of the usual problems that young couples face, in that we had very little money, LOTS of bills, and very little time to do much more than care for 3 very young children. We had been Christians for a few years at this point in time, and I was in church and in my Bible at every opportunity that I could accomplish it. I would have told you at that point if I had been asked, that I had a LARGE amount of faith in a very mighty God. However, that faith was put to test shortly after the birth of my third son. My middle son had suffered with asthma from the time he had been almost a year old, and at this time he was about 3. He began having attack after attack, and we spent many a night in the emergency room getting breathing treatments and shots to help him breathe as a result. And when we weren't at the hospital, we were in the doctors office it seemed. My oldest son who was 7, was in school of course at that time, and so we had all the usual things that went along with that. Homework to be done, bed at a decent hour, and getting him there and back etc. Now throw in the care of a brand new baby, recovering from childbirth, operating on a very limited amount of sleep, cooking, cleaning, laundry and all the other jobs that go along with motherhood, and you can begin to get a "feel" of where I was. When the baby was 3 weeks old he came down with pneumonia, and 3 days later I was diagnosed with mono. I really had no one at that time in my life who could help me. My husband was a wonderful help when he was there, but of course he had to work as we desperately needed that paycheck coming in. I'd like to say that was the final straw, but it wasn't. Just as I was SLOWLY recovering from the mono, I began experiencing what I know now to be (but didn't at the time), panic attacks. All I really knew for sure was I thought that I was surely dying at any moment and worried about who would take over the job with my children in that event. I couldn't get anyone to help me out occasionally, let alone take over the whole thing if I were to die. I cried out to the Lord of course, but He (it seemed) remained silent. I had attack after attack, each equally as frightening, and went to the doctors time after time, with no answers. They ran tests, and made guesses, but nothing seemed to stop them. I guess back in those days, panic attacks were not as quickly or as easily diagnosed as they are today. Or possibly MY doctor was not familiar with them, but this went on for many, many weeks. I lost weight and seemed to catch every little bug that went around as well. I began to feel as if my faith had failed me, in addition to the doctors who couldn't seem to figure out the problem. Finally when it seemed as though I had no where else to turn, I began to see that all I really had left was a VERY SMALL amount of faith in God. I began to pray more diligently, and search the scriptures constantly looking for His words of comfort and direction. This was when I came across this scripture and realized that if I had a very small mustard seed of faith (I had that alright) I could STILL move mountains in my life, IF that small amount of faith was placed in a very mighty God. Now one night as I again could feel the beginning of an attack, my husband was home, and I headed to my bedroom to lay on the bed and hope that the attack wouldn't be too bad. I began to pray (as I usually did) and ask God to please see me through it. I had, what I consider to this day, a very miraculous thing happen to me that night. In the midst of this attack, which was as bad as it had ever been, I felt the very real presence of God in that room. It was very overwhelming. I felt a peace fill my spirit and heart that was immediately calming and very obviously beyond all understanding. My heart rate (which soared during attacks) immediately slowed, and suddenly quite literally, it was over. In the past some of my attacks would last for LONG periods of time, and never ended suddenly, but slowly leaving me drained and spent. I have to this day, NEVER experienced another attack. I would love to say that I never worry or have any anxiety about anything at all, but that wouldn't be true. But I have never had another full blown panic attack. I believe God at that time, and in that way, delivered me from this particular affliction. I did nothing to bring this about. I didn't deserve it. I simply prayed to a mighty God, with a very small amount of faith, and BELIEVED He could deliver me if He chose to. And He did. I have such an overwhelming gratitude to Him for this I could never really express it properly. I don't believe that if He had not delivered me it would have meant I didn't muster up enough faith to accomplish this, or that it in any way means that it is always God's will to heal everyone of whatever it is they suffer from. God's will and purposes are always best. I believe He was teaching me that a tiny amount of faith just has to be put in a VERY mighty God, who has everything in His perfect control, and that trusting Him is the best place for me to be.
seek ME and
all your heart.
To read other Spiritual Sunday blogs click HERE and you will be sooo blessed. Have a wonderful worship day!! So many thanks to Charlotte and Ginger for hosting this wonderful event.