Saturday, January 16, 2010


Tomorrow is Spiritual Sunday and as always my mind began to wonder a couple of days ago on what I should post this week. As I have mentioned before, I have a little collection of devotionals I wrote last year that I often draw from. But this week as I was browsing through them, I couldn’t seem to find one that suited where my heart has really been at this week. FINALLY (DUH) it occurred to me that I didn’t have to use one from my collection, but could focus in on where I have been these last couple of days or so with the Lord. This of course presented me with a whole new set of problems. This has not been an easy week for me. And no one wants to hear a downer, do they Lord? No one wants to hear about how I struggle, or complain, or worry, or fall soo short of having it altogether that it’s a wonder that I manage to get along at all sometimes. But the problem is that THIS is my life, sometimes anyway. All my days aren’t sunny and warm, and sometimes the storm clouds come and worse yet it thunders and pours down rain.

Whenever I am struggling with something, pretty much no matter what it is, my attitude it seems is never quite what I want it to be. Until I reach that point where I have finally let the Holy Spirit do His work anyway, I can be what I describe as just downright “grumpy”. I complain and whine, most times only in my own mind, but sometimes, left unchecked, I have even gathered speed and my unhappiness spills out around those who are unfortunate enough to be around me. Usually this means just my poor husband, but occasionally my “grumpiness” has been known to spill out on others as well. ALL of my children at one point or another have been standing in those shoes and felt the unpleasantness of mom being out of sorts, and so has the occasional phone solicitor, or even a rude store clerk from time to time. Now if I am being honest, I think as I have grown and matured and no longer suffer from “that time of the month”, I don’t have nearly as many of these kinds of times as I did when I was younger. I also like to think that as I have brought my mind, heart and spirit, and most of all my tongue, under the control of the Holy Spirit, I do so much better as well. But every once in a while, it rears its ugly head again, and I KNOW, this side of eternity, I will NEVER be that Christian I long to be. I have just found myself so frustrated this week as I have not only been fighting a nasty cough, (which is doing much better PRAISE GOD) but I have had to constantly deal with the fact that my knees just keep me from doing soo many of the things I want to do. Everything I go to do is difficult. And I am tired of it. I have to plan my day around how much time it might take me get something done, how far I might have to walk, how much they hurt before the day had even started, and on and on and on. They have hurt me every day for almost a year now to one degree or another, and I am tired of dealing with it. I need to finish my diet (or at least come a lot closer to my goal) before I consider doing the replacement surgery. And I am tired of my diet menu, and tired of the SLOW way the weight is crawling off, and tired of watching others eat what I would LOVE to eat as well. And I am having a MAJOR attitude problem this week with it all. For me, whenever I feel this ugly way, I want to hide my “real” self away from others so as to not first of all be annoying, but also to prevent being a bad witness of our wonderful Lord from others. I even have found myself (at times) hiding these real feelings from the Lord and praying that no one, most of all Him, would notice. But as I was feeling this way last night, and was searching the scriptures for some answer to my dilemmas, I came across this verse.

Psalm 139:2 -4 You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, Oh Lord, You know it altogether.

How in the world could it NOT occur to me that the Lord knows me and my heart and my thoughts inside out and backwards? He knows, if no one else does, what I am capable of thinking, feeling, or worse yet saying, LONG before any of it forms in my head. But as I continued to read and pour out my heart to the Lord, He was finally able to work with me, and reminded me of so many of His wonderful truths. How grateful I am that He loves me just as I am. A sinner saved by grace. He truly has blessed me more abundantly than I can ever really thank Him for, or comprehend. His love makes me want to live my life to please Him more. He reminded me once again that while I may suffer with physical afflictions here on this earth, it is after-all only temporary. He does give me the strength to do the things I need to do every day, and provides me with His Holy Spirit to bring comfort and peace when I am hurting. How I love the Lord. He always is there for me even when I KNOW I am not pleasant to be around, loving me with that same unconditional love that drew me to Him in the first place. So I guess that is where my heart is this week; full of love and gratitude to a mighty God who loves me just as I am. A sinner saved by grace.

Ephesians 2:8 For by grace you have saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God.

Romans 8:35, 36 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God’s richest blessings to you all,


You can read the other Spiritual Sunday posts HERE


  1. Sweetie, you are such a beautiful blessing, never doubt that.

  2. Thank you for your truthful post. We all have our times like that and HE knows all about it and HE still loves and cares and carries us. What a faithful God He is.

  3. Just count your blessings, Debbie and you'll perk right up. As I look at your sidebar and see those smiling faces, I cannot help but feel good.

  4. Debbie, I love this post...I love how you allowed yourself to be open, vulnerable and I'm praying for you...with the weight issue and the knee pain...Tons of blessings. Sarah

  5. Debbie, such a wonderful beautiful post. Touched me. Thank you.

  6. Thanks for reminding us of God's unconditional love.

  7. It is good to remember God's love is unconditional. He is so full of grace and mercy towards us and I know I don't deserve it.

    Hang in there my friend. God loves you and so do I. I think I've heard something like that before; lol.

    Blessings and love,

  8. I have the feeling that just sharing your feelings and frustrations here in this post has been helpful to you. I think it will also help others who have similar problems. I think this is one way God helps us is by sharing our problems with others. Also, I agree with Sally. As I look at the smiling faces on your sidebar it makes me smile. We all have so much to be thankful for and I know that you realize that.
    Blessings to you and your family.

  9. It makes me happy that your able to tell us how you feel and what your going through. I will pray for you. Now see if you didn't tell us how you felt this week I wouldn,t of know that you need prayers. Just so you know your not alone on the weight thing. It is my mission to loose weight by summer, and then I will post my picture on my blog.
    God Bless you my friend,

  10. A wonderful post. It blessed me a lot. Your children are beautiful. God bless, Doylene

  11. Your frustrations became encouragement to some of us...Knowing we are not alone in this difficult journey. And it is a beautiful reminder that the Lord is always with us, no matter what goes around us. Praying that His strength, protection, healing and comfort shower over you. Have a great week ahead.

  12. thank you, I needed to hear this:)

  13. Thank you for being so honest with your feelings. I sure can relate and I love the scriptures and strength you find in them.

  14. Debbie,
    Thanks for visiting. I think we get to a point in our Christian lives today in this culture where we hope for the easy path, the road where there will not be troubles and we can rest and just enjoy life for a while, kind of travelling our days on cruise control, still loving and serving, but just without hardships present. I have found that it is usually only during the times of need and trial that I am closest to the Lord consistently. Christ never promised us that life would be easy. He intended us to know that by telling us we would have to pick up a cross and carry it daily if we wanted to truly follow Him. That sounds like the hard path. And yet there is always joy in being so close to Him when we do as He says. The road may be hard, but the burden light when we give it to Him and don't hang on.
    Sure good to know that HE loves us and intends to get us HOME with Him where we belong. We are only pilgrims travelling through, and He will walk it with us. amen. :-)

  15. I love your honest post Debbie. I think we all feel this way every once in a while, and I know I hate feeling that way! I really do hope that your knees start to feel better!

    I see the blog went back to normal!! Let me know if you need some help getting your margins a litle wider for the bigger pictures. It's a pretty easy thing to do, I can walk you through it for sure!

  16. You are right , he already knows everything before we tell him , but he still loves us & wants us to pour out our hearts to him, so he can do his healing& forgiving work in our hearts .

  17. I find myself being less of what I know God would be pleased with at times, I am like you, and unfortunetly have let my stress affect my words and attitude for others to see and I have to say it hasn't always been pleasing. But I am so thankful that God is still working on me!! I loved the passage you used in Proverbs...He indeed knows every thought we think and that in itself should scare each of us into doing right! ha ha. I love and appreciate your ministry Debbie! -blessings, Laurie

  18. I have many days when I'm feeling just like this. AND putting on a mask to hide away my true feelings from everyone. How wonderful to know that the Lord knows exactly what we're going through. Great scripture!!

  19. Hi Debbie,

    Reading your posts are always such nice reminders of so many things.

    I'm so sorry about the pain that your knees cause you. I know it's just awful when some part of your body hurts. It just puts you in the worst mood, because that becomes your focus. I sure hope it becomes more manageable soon.

    In response to your comment on my blog I wanted to see if you didn't already know about ? It is a free editing website and this is how I get my pictures side by side like that. It's really fun. And free! I used it so much and found it SO user friendly that I bought the premium package so I have a few more editing options now.

    AND I think it's so neat that you are reading your granddaughter's book first. I have a client who reads all of the books her son is reading so that they can discuss them. Such a neat thing to do. And of course to make sure the reading material is age appropriate!

  20. Hi Sweet Debbie!
    There is not a one of us that would be happy about having to live with constant pain, and the inability to do some of the things we love. This surgery I had has given me a new perspective for sure. It is the only time I've ever had surgery except for my 4 c sections. Having a baby to distract you afterward is far easier than just sitting around not being able to feel at all productive!! What I have been learning is to just choose to think different thoughts, and to find things to be thankful for. In other words...choosing joy instead of choking it out. The result is a calm spirit and harmony in my home. Don't manage to get there every time, but far more often than ever before!! I know this is what you do, too. We all stumble in our spirits. We just have to extend our hand to God. He will help us up, and restore our godly perspective.

    Your honesty and sharing are inspiring gal. Thank you so much for sharing with us. You're such a blessing!
    You are a gal with HEART!!!

  21. Hey Debbie!

    Thank you for just being REAL girlfriend!! How awesome is He that He knows us and our imperfections and still longs to spend precious moments with us and pour His Love, Mercy and Grace into our lives!! Where would we be without Him!!

    Thanks for your bless me!!

    Sweet Blessings!

  22. Debbie,
    It is hard ot be upbeat when you are in constant pain. Hopefully you will be getting some relief with your knees. I loved your post.


I am so glad that you would take the time to comment on my thoughts and feelings, it is such a blessing to me!