Well, this has been a difficult week for me in that I have spent the majority of it sick and running back and forth to the doctor’s office and laying somewhere in a heap. Oh how I hate to be sick. But as I look back at how this week has gone I can see how the Lord has worked in my heart.
Phl 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I have spent a great deal of my life battling anxiety. I have researched this dilemma and spent time (probably too much) trying to figure out just why it is that this particular problem seems to plague me the way it does. Certain things trigger it, (such as an illness that is particularly lengthy or troublesome) and I avoid them when I can. But as with most of life, control is not just something we can claim. Life happens. So I find myself many times like I did this last week, battling this enemy rather I want to or not. My dependency on the Lord for this is the only way I have ever gotten through it. I have discovered that it is not a question about trusting God or my faith in Him. If anything it seems to be quite the opposite. It just seems to be the thing my body does quite literally without my permission. And once the process is in motion, I have no choice but to deal with it the only way I know how, and the only way that is ever successful. I run to Him. I pray. I trust Him to see me though. And He always does. He quite literally again gives me the strength to do something I honestly can't without Him. He battles it for me. So again this week for me it reared its ugly head and I felt myself falling into the familiar patterns of anxiety. It has been QUITE A WHILE since I have dealt with this, but it's memory was all too vivid. But I began to pray and seek Him passionately and asked others to pray as well, and it wasn't long at all and I felt His peace begin to wash over me. How grateful I am. Like Paul I have asked the Lord MANY times to remove this particular affliction away from me, but I feel like the Lord allows it for the same reasons He did with Paul. It keeps me dependent on Him. It reminds me that I CAN do all things through Him who will give me the strength. He is able to show me His abundant love for me IN SPITE of it. So, as much as I would like to think that I have dealt with this problem for the last time, I am pretty certain that it is not the case. But I do know, my God is mighty and powerful and loving and IN TOTAL CONTROL and He alone will see me through. Praise God.
Mar 10:27 But Jesus looked at them and said, "With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible."
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