First, my mom has been discharged as of yesterday morning and is settling in at home, soo glad to be rid of hospital noise, FOOD, and routine. She is doing very well. She is still struggling with the reading and writing and occasionally finding the right word for what she is trying to say. Everyone seems to be very confident that with time it will be possible to gain back all she lost. If it doesn't happen it will certainly not be from lack of effort on her part. She is soo eager to do whatever it is that is necessary to get these abilities back. She works long after she is tried, and does it all with such a cheerful attitude. I won't lie to you. The whole thing has been VERY hard not only for her of course, but also for me and no doubt my sisters as well. It is a very strange feeling to watch your mom struggle with 3 lettered words knowing she was such an avid reader in the past that two books a week was not out of the question for her to accomplish. She can't seem to tell time either. And what she seems to master one day, is occasionally lost again the next. It is most frustrating to watch, and even more so for her of course. I am grateful of course that things were not soo much worse as they could have so easily have been. Physically she seems to be right where she was. And yet like so many others I am sure it is hard to watch your mother (or father) just plain old "age"....I of course am with her everyday or at the very least talk to her, and yet it is not the same. I miss what our relationship was, and yet am soo very grateful she is still here to enjoy and love. There is not much at all keeping her from having another stroke. She has a condition in her brain where it would be quite likely that she will. All we can do is keep her blood pressure low (which it is praise God) and her blood sugar under control (which is also pretty good) and then trust God that it is all in His hands. We all watch her around the clock, and will work with her every chance we get, and get to her therapy as well. It is a new chapter in my life and one in which I would have loved to have just skipped or avoided altogether. I have no idea what the outcome of it may be. But I do know this. God loves her and cares about what happens and will see her and all of us through whatever might be until the day He calls her home. I would appreciate your prayers from my mom. I of course am asking that He might heal her completely and that there will be many more years here to enjoy together. But I am willing to trust Him that whatever should happen, it is His best for her and for us.
I had somewhat of another scare this week which has left me somewhat frazzled as well. I woke up on Tues. morning noticing a LARGE lump on my right side (cancer side of course) directly in the middle of my scar. Now it was soo large that it could be felt easily and seen at a simple glance in the mirror. Common sense seemed to tell me that SURELY this couldn't be a reoccurrence of the cancer after such a short time and be this large as well, especially since I had my cancer rated at a stage 0 with a VERY small chance of reoccurrence. However I of course called my oncologist’s office who told me to come in the next day. After being examined there they sent me for a STAT ultrasound and possible biopsy that very night over at the hospital. To say my mind went racing would be putting it mildly. I drove over trying hard not to be hysterical and wondering what on earth might be happening. My husband was with (thank you Jesus) and after he prayed with me I did feel the familiar peace wash over me again that NO MATTER WHAT this might be, He was with me. The whole procedure took much longer than you would think, but I eventually did have a doc. come in to perform a biopsy. He felt VERY certain from the beginning that what they were seeing was simply blood and blood clots. They would of course confirm this when they tried to drain it, which they did. He didn't even feel the need to send it to pathology as it was soo obviously blood, and yet he did as my doc had ordered it. I won't hear the results until Tues. I am not really very concerned about this as of course the lump immediately disappeared upon draining it. HOWEVER, it has already filled up again. Not quite as large as before, but close. I will make another trip to my surgeons office on Tues. (my birthday ~ sound like a fun day? especially since this appointment will be followed by more knee x-rays, haha) to have it drained again and maybe find out more as to why this happening almost 4 months post surgery. The doc at the hospital suggested to me that it might be the fact that I carried my granddaughter around sooo much on the previous Thursday, (she is kind of big, and somewhat heavy, but nothing really) but I am not sure what to think. I do know that I would sooo much rather not be dealing with this anymore. I am tired of babying myself. I feel like I was as careful as I could possibly be for as long as they told me to be. I want to be done. And yet for whatever reason this is still something I must deal with. Coupled with my arthritis in my knees awaiting surgery when I am FINALLY back to normal (whatever that is haha) it is hard not to feel like I am just meant to be sitting around not doing much. I won't lie here either....I am MOST tired of this. SIGH....But again, how grateful I am that they found no tumors and that it doesn't appear to have anything to do with cancer. I am also soo grateful that I felt Him flooding me with His peace and comfort.
And on much lighter and happier note, yesterday we traveled down to San Diego for a large birthday party my youngest son James threw for his wife Larissa's 30th birthday. What a fun day it was!! They had the party at the bay by Sea World and it was just gorgeous down there. The weather was perfect; warm with cool breezes blowing. He had a catering company come out and make tacos. Beef, pork and chicken with all the fixings. They were DELICIOUS. I will confess that I had one of each. (they were small Mel don't panic) The kids all played on the playground that was right beside us. We walked down to the water and watched as they splashed in the puddles on shore. The conversations were enjoyable and the day just couldn't have been better. I brought Larissa one of Kristi's (your sugar rush) famous cakes and it was sooo good. She came up with a recipe for pumpkin spice cake with a cinnamon cream cheese filling. Oh my goodness it was yummy... Definitely my new fav Kristi. We brought a large sheet cake from Costco for the majority of the guests, (it was a REALLY BIG crowd) which was tasty I heard, and I didn't even feel guilty that I was one of the select few who got a piece of the good one, haha...I am not sure I got nearly enough though even so. lol (not really Mel) Quite a few of the high school kids that James pastors were there as well and some of the boys got together and played a game of football. Jeff joined in as well of course which he thoroughly enjoyed, but was feeling it somewhat this morning, haha...It was good to see James interacting with his group which I have never seen before. It was easy to see that they enjoy him so and look up to him as well; a good moment for this mom for sure. I am not sure if I have mentioned this (there has been soo much happening) but James has been given the Sunday evening church service on a permanent basis as well. It is really a lot to add to his already VERY busy schedule, but a HUGE opportunity for him to teach/preach as well. His first service is tonight and we plan on traveling down to hear him. We are both soo excited for him and to see what the Lord has in mind with all of this. You can catch him live if you are so inclined at http://www.maranathachapel.org/ at 6:00PM.
Well, believe it or not I could go on, haha, but this is WAY to lengthy as it is and for that I am soo sorry (for those of who stuck around to the end that is). I have MUCH on my mind. There are other things I could share (such as my oldest son's expansion on his Karate school which is soo exciting ~ another post) but I will close for now. Life is a long, winding road full of ups and downs, laughter and tears, sickness and health, triumphs and failures, and mine is no different. I am grateful for all the good, and look for the lessons I am to learn from the rest.
Here are some pics of yesterday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFUL DIL!
Capri on the swings ~ where she spent a great deal of the day
JD such a sweetie
Donatella ~ I think I might start referring to her as "mini" Mel ~ she reminds me soo much of her
The pretty yummy cake that Kristi made
The "other" cake, haha
James & Larissa
Present time ~ soo many nice things
Tella heads down to the water
Playing in the puddles....sooo fun!