Well, I have completed week one of Jenny Craig...I'd love to say I have morphed into a new woman and all is going WONDERFULLY....but it just isn't the case.... I struggled, whined, felt sorry for myself, nursed rebellious feelings, and was generally just a baby about the whole thing. Some of the days I whipped through wondering why on earth I had been fighting it, only to turn right around the next day and wonder if I'd make it through the day without cheating. The food is REALLY good, honest it is, and MOST of the time I am actually OK in the "literal" hunger department. And when I am not, there are things I can eat that are both tasty and VERY LOW in calories. I KNOW good and well what to eat and what not to eat. What is healthy and what is not. What is downright indulgent, and what is OK as a very occasional treat. I have felt both convicted and downright bad about how this all works in with my life as a Christian as well. Shouldn't I be able to get this all into control? Shouldn't I be able to let the Lord "handle" this for me? Am I nothing but a poor witness? As I laid in bed last night, praying and truly seeking the Lord for answers on this issue, and several others as well, I again felt He ministered to me, comforted me, gave me His peace, and all while KNOWING how little I deserve it. And yet, that is what is sooo wonderful about being a Christian. I don't have to whip (somehow) myself into this "perfect" person who struggles with nothing, and always does the right thing. He loves me period.....just the way I am. It makes me want to tell as many people as I can just how wonderful He is, and what having a relationship with a living God does for you. It makes me WANT to live my life for Him, and makes me WANT to get these areas (and others) of my life into better order. I appreciate His gift of grace and mercy, and yet at the same time don't want to take them for granted or use them as an excuse to live my life any old way I chose. And so I will press on. I will go in a little while and weigh in and see what (if any) progress I may have made this week. I will thank Him and praise Him that I have even the opportunity to do a diet in such an easy way. That I have any food at all to eat when sooo many millions of people don't. To let Him explore and dig deeper into my heart seeking as to why this is such an issue for me anyway. Trusting Him to lead and direct me in the right way to put this problem behind me once and for all...The Lord directed me to these verses this morning, and how they ministered to me.
Phil 3:13-14 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press for the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
I will not let myself dwell on what is done…on what is in the past…on what I do right, or what I do wrong, but press on doing as best as I can towards my goal of “being” in Christ Jesus.
Well, I got interrupted and had to leave to go weigh in and now I am back....WOO HOO....is all I can say. I lost 4 and half pounds. So I must have stuck to it all a little better than I thought....BUT the most important part of all to report is that the councilor that I was assigned for this journey was just WONDERFUL. And trust me, I have been assigned some in the past who just don’t “get it”…She is going to be just what I need I think to help me through this. Thank you Jesus! OK, I will put this away in my mind for now and get on with the rest of my day. Meanwhile though, I would appreciate a prayer or two for my attitude and perseverance; for the remembering that I can only do the best I can do through the power I get from Him.
To switch topics altogether I just have to make a quick (hopefully) little comment about last night’s Bunco game. A sweeter bunch of ladies would be hard to find. I DID enjoy myself. BUT!! It was a very watered down version of Bunco…The next closest person to my age had me beat by 15 years and most of these dear souls were in their late 70’s and 80’s...it was AT LEAST 80 degrees in the house and yet they all wore sweaters, jackets, scarves and I imagine considered even gloves…with my “hot flashes” this was MOST difficult…it was quite the procedure to switch tables as many had walkers and canes…there was almost no other talking or getting to know any of them as they had to concentrate on rolling the dice WAY TOO HARD…One sweet woman had NO IDEA rather she was winning or losing and kept asking repeatedly, “Did I win honey? Did I win?” I finally just started telling her, “Why yes, you did!” as she wasn’t marking it right anyway, haha It was a VERY LONG 2 and half hours of rolling dice. I KNOW there is a reason that the Lord has placed me in a senior citizens park at my age, but it is NOT to play Bunco I am very sure, lol = )