Thursday, April 7, 2011


I have a few minutes so I thought I would write just a quick post. Mel arrived last night around 5:30 looking mighty pale…I felt soo bad for her as I guess the flight from Vegas (they ALWAYS have a layover in Vegas) was REALLY bumpy and she was feeling sooo queasy by the time the plane landed she had to get up and rush to the restroom. The flight attendant was concerned, but Mel assured her she was OK, just pregnant. We picked her up out front and she quickly got into the car as my hubby got her suitcase into the trunk. We hadn’t left the airport for 5 minutes when she told her daddy to pull over quickly. We did manage to pull over before she got sick, but just barely. POOR Mel…though I felt bad for the people whose house we were in front of too…But what are you going to do? Haha…After that, she was feeling much better and we headed out to eat believe it or not. That’s what nice sometimes about morning sickness, it’s gone as quickly as it comes. After dinner we headed home to watch American Idol. We enjoyed watching the show with her. Today we headed down to Newport Beach to have lunch with Jessie before getting her done. She had not had it done since September, so she was in pretty bad shape, haha…Jessie got her the cutest little maternity outfit (not that she is even close to needing it yet) and a book about mom’s. Soo sweet and just soo Jessie. Her hair looking beautiful again, feeling wonderful, she has headed out tonight to have dinner with another close friend of hers. I am just enjoying being with her. The average person would NEVER know she is pregnant, but this mama can tell. A teeny, tiny baby bump is definitely there. She has only gained a pound, but I am sure that is all about to change as she heads into her second trimester. I will definitely get a pic of her bump before she goes I am sure.

I am not sure if I should write about this…in fact, I am pretty sure I shouldn’t. But it has really kind of been heavy on my heart. And it is such a silly thing in soo many ways. But let me just ask some of you. How much do you consider some of the women you have met in the blogging world to be your friends?? I guess for me I really have without realizing that I had. And the truth of the matter is I have found myself “attached” in ways. Do you know what I mean? I have followed along on the lives of soo many women, as I am sure many of you have done as well. I can’t tell you how much they have blessed me. The encouragement I have felt, the things I have learned from the wisdom of you several of you, the humor, the simple joys of life shared with “kindred spirits”… just attached. I find myself when I am on here quickly scanning the side of my blog to see if any of the regulars I read have posted something new. If they have I am on it in a flash just so I don’t miss a thing. I think I comment pretty much wherever I read not because I feel it is necessary by any means, but because I guess I just always have something to say, haha. And let’s face it, it can be done pretty quickly, usually anyway. I do e-mail quite a bit with some of you as well. My point in all of this is when someone that I have been reading and exchanging comments with for MONTHS suddenly stops; it REALLY makes me wonder why. Now don’t get me wrong. I know people get busy, computer time is limited for many, and NO ONE should ever feel like they have to read, comment, or even blog at all. I too sometimes get busy (though I probably have more time than most) and don’t get around like I’d like. That’s not what I am talking about. And I am not talking about someone who is taking a break from blogging or computer time in general. I am talking about someone who has commented on everything you have posted for months and months and suddenly just stops. They are still commenting on several of the other blogs we all read, (so you KNOW that are still blogging) and yet they have stopped commenting me. It bothers me. It is like I have lost a friend and I am not sure why. There are MANY blogs where I comment on everything they post and I just get a very occasional comment from them. I am not talking about them either. I read and comment where my interest takes me as we all do I am sure, and that is totally fine of course. I am talking about someone who was one of your VERY REGULAR readers, commenter’s, and friends (in my opinion) who just suddenly and unexplainably has dropped you. I have found that it has happened a few times to me now. Maybe I am alone in this. Maybe the rest of you have never lost anyone. Am I the only one who is bothered by this? I want to ask them in the worst way if I have said something in one of my posts that has hurt them, or angered them, or bothered them in some way, because I just couldn’t bear it if I have. Maybe it is nothing more than what I write no longer interests them and there is only so much time to blog and I am out, haha…Maybe my posts are too long and drawn out…my kids have all at what point or another told me they were. I have also asked myself what real difference it makes, as I do not write this blog to get comments. I honestly don’t. I write because I love to write, and because I want it to be a journal of my life in a sense for my kids and grandkids. It bothers me I guess because like I said I feel like I have lost some wonderful people along the way without really knowing why and wondering if I am doing something. OK, there it is….pretty silly I know. I have been praying about what the Lord might have me do with this whole thing recently. I have considered maybe just writing a private blog just for my kids and grandkids and not being involved in the blogging world except to read other’s posts. I have even considered just getting out of it altogether. And then I go back to maybe I should go continue on and not worry about who reads, who comments, who stops, who doesn’t, or WHY…But that’s what brings me back to the question…Are your blog friends real to you?? And if they are, as they are and have been to me, then how can this not bother me?? Just wondering


  1. OK, I am one who was very faithful to read so many blogs. And I have to say ...YES, I consider many bloggers to be my friends, including you. However, since I began working full time I've had a hard time keeping up with everyone. I leave the house by 7am and return a little after 6 pm.

    However, I have to say that I am excited about your Mel's pregnancy. She and her hubby will have beautiful babies. And I can't wait to see any photos. I just hope she feels better.


  2. Oh Debbie, this is one of the reasons I had a feeling it was not a good idea to write this post. I am DEFINITELY not referring to you and I am soo sorry if you thought so. I do know that you have gotten to be really busy since you went back to work. There are just soo many hours in a day and when you work full time it is REALLY hard to get around like you would like to, and still write your own etc. I have never felt like you "dropped me"...honestly I haven't. Your visits have been less frequent for sure, but I TOTALLY get it. No, I am referring to deliberate and pointed drops. I would NEVER want anyone to comment to me either out of a sense of obligation. I knew VERY WELL why your visits had become less frequent and I am sympathetic and understanding of that. I am referring to those that I have NO IDEA what happened. Those who were friends and followers and stopped following, removed their names etc. Hope this is a little clearer...

  3. Debbie,

    Poor Mel! Bless her heart! Gosh, I was just sharing with my Son how very sick I was with him and we took a trip by car from OK to North Carolina. I had to pull over numerous times. I wore those bracelets that were suppose to help with the nausea but honestly they didn't do much LOL

    I, too have experienced so many blessings from blogging and the friendships are soo very special. I do wonder what happens to some who stop coming is hard not to take offense and honestly I have had to just let it go. I really have to remind myself that the Lord will bring the ones HE wants to my blog and if HE wants that relationship to grow then I know it will, and if it doesn't I just have to trust it isn't suppose to :)

    You bless soo many and I am thankful for your friendship and your comments are always so encouraging and filled with love!

    Enjoy your girl! I KNOW you are...every precious moment :)

    Love and Hugs!

  4. Poor Mel! I remember being so sick with Riley, it was awful. But then, my second trimester came and it was amazing! Hoping the same happens for her. I bet (aside from the morning sickness) that she is glowing!

    Now poor Debbie! I think it's okay for it to bother you that this has happened. Hopefully the reason is not because you offended anyone. I don't know how you could have. But it happens and you are only human to feel the way that you do. I always love to come to your blog and see what's going on in your life, even if it is a long read sometimes, lol! If I only have time to hop around quickly in blog land, and I see that you've written a rather long post, I just come back when I have more time to really read it. I don't like to comment just to comment. I do that on most of the blogs that I read, even my Mother's hahaha!! Hoping it gets better for you!

    PS. Are you going to Dan's wedding in May? Tim and I will be there! Also, I don't know when, but the next time Tim and I go down to San Diego to see Sean, we would like to come to one of your son's church services in the morning on the way. I'll keep you updated but like I said, we have nothing set in stone as of right now!

  5. Okay, I don't know if that sounded right now that I reread it. I meant to say (even if it does make sense) that I don't comment on anyone's just to comment. On all the blogs that I read, if it's going to take more than a few minutes to read it, I come back and take my time to read it and then comment!!! Okay. That's better, lol!

  6. That is a good way to look at it Loren. I think there is a VERY good chance that I can be too sensitive. My kids have also accused me sometimes of making mountains out of molehills, haha. This is what I was hoping to get out of this. Suggestions as to how others handle this problem if they have encountered it as well. I am not trying to make anyone feel bad...HONEST...I'm not. : )

  7. Dear Debbie, I think all of us could have written this post. I have experienced the exact same thing that you have, and like you have asked myself the same questions, I too from time to time have thought the same a you.
    After much time in prayer i decided to let it go, and I blog for me, my family, and for my true friends here in blogland. Several times I have wanted to write about blogging, but just haven't felt like the time was right for me. Don't worry about what you have written today, it is most timely.

    You are a gifted writer, and you never know who reads this blog, but doesn't comment, and they leave so uplifted and blessed. I know I have many times, but I always comment. lol. I would miss reading about you and your family if you went private. I know some who have their regular blog, but also a private one for their family. I count it a privilege to help others pray about their needs, and am so thankful to have friends like you who pray for me too. Just like in our life outside blogging you soon learn who are your true friends.
    I am so thankful for the friends I have made here in blogland.

    I am so glad Mel is visiting you all, and I pray for a special time this week. Just think in a few months you will be experiences what our dear friend KIm did today.Just as I was excited for her, I now am excited for you.I can't tell you how many times during the day that my friends will come to mind, and I wonder what they are doing.
    I apologize for writing such a long comment, and feel that I have rambled on.

  8. Oh my goodness, I hope Melly feels better soon. I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. Awful!
    Enjoy your time together.

  9. Sweet Sweet Friend,

    I think everyone who blogs has gone through this. I, too have experienced the same thing but the times that I have, I have had to remind myself why I am blogging. I am happy that people stop by just to read and hopefully my posts touch them in some small way and brings them closer to the Lord. My blog is also my journal and is very therapeutic for me to go back and read even just for myself.

    I come by and visit you often and read as you have been such a beautiful and loving friend. I pray for you and your beautiful family. Lately I've been out of steam so to speak when it comes to commenting...I've needed refreshment myself and I get that when I go to all of my blogging friends to read.

    I've learned that the Lord does not want us to feel offended or have any of these kinds of feelings about our blogging otherwise it defeats the whole purpose of doing it. We write what's on our hearts, about our lives...about Him...and it's all for His glory. So I continue on with joy in blogging even if I only get one comment. I know people are out there reading and that is what matters the most to me.

    I love you my friend and know that I have come by often to read all of your postings. You make me smile and fill my heart with encouragement and happiness.

    God bless you sweet sister and know that I am praying for you always even if you don't see me commenting a lot these's just me trying to get through the day here and sometimes that is hard to do.

    And your precious Mel...she is such a beautiful pregnant mommy. My niece found out she is having twin girls and we are all so happy as can be along with my daughter-in-law having a girl in August as well. This is an exciting time for all of us Nana's and I look forward in sharing that time with you and all.

    Love you,

  10. I don't think it means anything. Like I my case, I have found it easier to email you than to comment just because it is more private. I think like with my life right now feeling a bit out of control I have been so exhausted when I finally get to the computer I just can't think of what to say. I know though, I get so very attached that when someone just disappears it is something I worry about and I always think if could be something I did.
    Or sometimes I think, I am going to come back and comment and other things happen. So for me I don't think it is anything other that life coming in.
    No I enjoy everyone of your posts and read them all.
    So I am sorry if it looks like that from me.
    Well, have to get a shower before my hubby leaves for work, with the kids here. :) I forget how busy it is with a 4 year old and a almost 2 year old. :)

  11. Poor Mel! Being sick when you are pregnant is just awful. I will never forget the first time I threw up when I was pregnant with Hannah. I was in Idaho with Jake and I called my Mom and cried and cried because I didn't want to be sick. (Like that would do anything. haha)

    I'm sorry you feel that way about certain readers Debbie. I know that I don't comment as often so if you are reffering to me I apologize. My computer time is more and more limited the busier my kids get.

  12. Debbie I looked for your email but can't find it on your blog.
    If you will email me with your address at
    I would like to comment further.

  13. First of all I need to apologize for not seeing that you comment to people on your comment section...oh, my, I just comment and have never come back to see if you had something to say to me back...too funny!!

    Well as my husband says, "Janette you are just thinking too much!" And I would feel the same I don't have an answer.

    I just know that I feel like I am getting the chance to set and talk with a sister when I come have so encouraged me in so many ways, I really owe you more than one hug.

    Your recent email to answer my question just changed everything and extended so much hope...I got back up, dusted myself off and continued on my parenting path.

    I am sorry for the hurt, I too would feel the same and I too feel my blogging buddies are friends. I also miss some that have taken a break or stopped.

    Blessings...oh, enjoy, enjoy the visit...I am sooooooooo excited for you and continue just being you, that is what brings me here every time you post!!! And then I ramble back to you...which is always toooooooooooooo long.

  14. I am just like you, Debbie. I
    get very attached to everyone
    and really feel like my blogging
    friends are just that--true
    friends. I was hurt recently
    when someone told me they were
    only going to read blogs now
    and comment on ones that they
    really liked, then dropped
    my blog. I enjoy your blog so
    much but just don't always
    have time to comment. I am
    always reading though and
    thinking of your sweet girl
    and praying for a safe and
    easier pregnancy.

  15. Hi Debbie -

    I read your post last night just as I was finishing my blog rounds:) It was late and I didn't comment then but I have been thinking about you today. Yes, it seems all freindships come with their hiccups:) and make us vulnerable for sure. I am so sorry that you have gotten your feelings hurt (and sure hope that it was not me in any way...) I would definitely agree that I think of my blogging friends as, well, friends. I really enjoy these friendships - and so wish I could meet many in person. Its funny I will say to the kids, "Oh, my friend did or said such and such..." and they will say something like "What friend??" Someone I met while blogging - but my friend:) I guess you have to blog to understand, right!

    Just enjoy your blogging for why you started - your posts are definintely a blessing and I do love all your pictures. I know your family will one day be beyond blessed and so happy that you recorded so much for them!

    I sure hope that Mel is enjoying her time with you - and feeling better! Too funny - that she "tossed her cookies" and then you guys headed out to dinner!! Any news from the sonogram?

    Sending you a hug - looks like a lot of others have done the same. Feel the love:) sweet friend!

  16. Hi Debbie,

    Poor Mel, I never experienced morning sickness so I think I was lucky. Enjoy your time with her, which I know you will. I am needing an Oklahoma fix to go see Stacy and Bella....oh ya and James. :) I have a feeling a little morning sickness may be in Stacy's future...she would love to be pregnant right now.

    I know I am a guilty non consistent commentor and blogger but I do love your blog and enjoy commenting on it. I consider you a good friend...blogging or not. I think my life will definitely be more sane once tax season is over.
    I do hate this time of year.

    Enjoy your weekend...and I can't believe how big those grandkids are getting. Great pics on your sidebar.


  17. Debbie:

    I agree with what others have said - I think any of us could have written this. I have to remind myself why I am writing, and like Loren said, I have to trust that God will bring who He wants to my blog.

    I have to admit that I went through a time that quantity was more of a priority than quality. I worried that I wouldn't get any "hits" to the blog, etc. I had to give that over to God.

    That being said, I haven't had as much time to visit and comment on blogs, but I do read post in my Google reader. I'm happy for Mel's pregnancy (sorry for her sickness). I pray that all is well with you.


  18. Sweet Debbie,
    You are a breath of refreshing "authentic" air! You're right to not worry about the comments. Continue to write what will be such a sweet record of memories to your children. I think the blogging world is such a fickle place, so it is especially nice to come across other women who are sincere. I appreciate you, and I love how you love your family!


I am so glad that you would take the time to comment on my thoughts and feelings, it is such a blessing to me!