Friday, April 20, 2012


Today is Friday and another week has scurried by.  After MUCH conversation, prayer, debate, and planning we have at least a tentative plan for my parents.  As I mentioned before my mother is not going to be able to live on her own for a few reasons, and this had made me miss my old house in whole new ways.  Our old house, while not huge by any means, had 4 bedrooms and a large back yard area complete with a pool/spa.  Lots of extra places where we could have comfortably put my mom.  This would have made most of these decisions a no brainer.   However, I am not sure what the point of mentioning this is, as we DO NOT live there anymore, and it very much is the is what it is.  lol  Our new house is very comfortable and I am glad to own it, but it only has two bedrooms.  We use the extra one (and it is small) for a guest/grand kid/sewing/extra TV room, haha.  It is really only big enough for a queen sized bed, small comfy rocker, and my nice sized sewing cabinet.  The large closet is full of the grand kids toys, and the baby's bed (for when my infant sized grand kids are here).  It has a full bathroom right off of it, and it is a nice place for Mel (and Mike when he comes) to stay when she is here, grand kids or overnight guests to stay, Jeff to watch his beloved sports games in when I can't bear another one haha, and for me to sew when ever the mood should so strike me.   We also have a very comfortable and nice sized family room where we have plenty of seating when our family gathers, and where Jeff and I watch TV.  Our formal living room has MORE comfortable sitting opportunities and is where you will find my piano.  This is the room where I spend most of my time as it also has the comfy recliners in it, 5 big open windows so there is plenty of light and lots of pretty views, and a fireplace to sit by while I read or blog in the winter time.   We have a formal dining room which was important to me when we were looking for a home, as I have some really pretty dinning room furniture I couldn't bear to part with yet, (and saved MANY years to buy!) and besides I wanted a table big enough to accommodate all of us on holidays and celebrations.  The kitchen while serviceable, is small.  The everyday eating area is also adequate, but not that big.  We have a pretty front porch which I have decked out with nice plants and flowers and furniture, and I do occasionally sit out there and do my devotional, read, blog, or chat with neighbors, but again it is small.  The back yard is even smaller and really only accommodates our small dog, and our BBQ.  There is NO garage, and we have a small shed which is STUFFED TO THE BRIM!  lol  The master bedroom is nice sized and does nicely hold the queen sized bedroom furniture that we traded with Mel with when we moved here, but again, not room for anything else.  The master bathroom is HUGE and I have loved it.  A large sunken tub, a shower, double sinks, and a nice sized vanity area for me to sit and do my hair and make up.  The master bedroom also has a HUGE walk in closet which has just been a dream, though we do have it full to the brim as well.  The only other area in the house is the utility room which holds the washer, dryer, and a built in desk area.  There are several cupboards in this area, again full to capacity mainly with items that we use to store in our garage etc.  All in all I have been quite happy living here, and I am very grateful to own it at all.  But (why is there always a but??  haha) there has been a flaw or two, and we are both thinking that this will probably not be where we retire after all.  We are hoping  praying when the time comes (another 5 years or so maybe Lord willing) we will look for a small home in San Diego.  I love that area, and it would be soo much better and easier to live near our church.   Sooo why you might be asking have I told you all of this?  It really is the least of my concerns about moving my mother in with me, but they were concerns I have been forced to consider nonetheless.  As it is right now I live about 40 minutes from my mom IF (and it is a BIG if) there is no traffic.  I Usually I spend over an hour driving there each way.  My point being my mother would pretty much have to change all of her doctors, church, etc., and this is stressing her, which I totally understand.  However even taking all of these things into consideration we have decided it is still best to move her in with me.  I am not sure where I will store all the things I have stored in that room, or where (and this is a BIG one) I will put my sewing cabinet and sewing supplies, but it will have to be figured out.  I will keep her Sunday night through Friday afternoon, and she will spend the rest of the time divided between two of my other sisters.  This will not only give everyone a break, but also help my mom continue to attend her church as one of my sisters lives in the same city as the old church.  She works full time during the week though, and her place is even smaller.  It will also give my hubby and I a couple of days together alone, and the ability to still drive down to San Diego to church on Sundays, and between those two days it is also usually when my LARGE family might be getting together for various different things.  Mom would ALWAYS be welcome at these events of course, but large crowds do tend to stress her.   This will be a big adjustment for everyone, but especially for my poor mother I am thinking.  She is becoming more confused recently and it is not easy sometimes.  But we will care for her for as long as we are able to do so without it meaning any danger for her.   When Melody comes to stay for visits one of my sisters will keep mom, and I guess grand kids if they spend the night can be just as happy on one of our comfy couches.  One thing I guess I have learned over the years, and I am certain you all have too, is NOTHING ever stays the same.  Life is a series of changes, adjustments, and new beginnings.  I am glad that we can count on our God to remain steadfast and faithful.  I am certain I will need His grace, and His mercy to adjust to all the changes that lie ahead, but I am certain it will be sufficient.  I am going today to the Gastronologists to continue my quest for relief from my stomach issues.  I am hoping he can come up with something.  I have been doing better, but it is still not gone.  Maybe it is my "new" normal, but I haven't given up hope yet, lol.  All of these things may be a while yet, as of course we have no idea how long my step dad may have.  He is still doing OK.  Some days are a lot worse than others.  We are suppose to play cards again tonight (even though us gals NEVER win anymore haha) and after remembering this week with the death of my nieces FIL, you just never know.  We can only make our plans to a certain extent.  The Lord hold all of our days in His hands, and we trust Him for the very breath we take every day.  He is our trusted "plan maker". 

Proverbs 16:9  A man's heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps

Proverbs 19:21  There are many plans in a man's heart, Nevertheless the Lord's councel -- that will stand.

Oh, just to catch you up a bit on Sam, he is crawling everywhere!  Pretty good for six months this grandma is thinking.  Mel is VERY busy chasing him everywhere.  Good thing babies come to the young.  Here are a couple new pics of this little sweetie....


Came on line this morning and found a pic of this little doll on Facebook.  Couldn't resist sharing this pic either of my youngest grand daughter Donatella....

Hope you all have a wonderful week-end!


  1. You touched my heart with this, Debbie. I know what you mean about life never staying the same. We can plan, but we don't hold the control of the plan at all. I have thought about what is going to happen if (or more likely when) my mom can't stay alone. I have a huge amount of respect for you for being such a wonderful daughter.

    I remember visiting Amish country and learning how they create little additions to their homes, and the parents move in there when the youngest child starts a family. In return, that child gets the house. I think that's a really neat plan.

    Anyway, may God richly bless you for your willing and unselfish heart and love for your mom.

  2. Those sweet smiles from Sam must go a long way in brightening your day! He is adorable!!!

    Big changes for sure for you and your mom. Prayers and blessings to you :)

  3. The new "norm" there really a norm, I think it is just in our mind. I understand missing your old home...I wonder if I will ever get past that and not look back myself...maybe when we have our own place again.

    My heart reaches out to you as you go through these changes, as you so lovingly extend your home to your mother.

    I stayed with a friend's mother the other day while the family had time out...they call me the "visiting angel"...I was the one that was blessed, so God will make a way through all this.

    Well what can I say about "cutie pie"...adorable

  4. Praying that you will find a way to make all this work, dear one. {{hugs}}

  5. I could read the struggle that you had. But I can see the love that you have for your mother and family. You will be rewarded for your loving outreach. You are an inspiration to all of us.

  6. We truly are the sandwich generation. Helping to care for our grandchildren, and also, in many cases, our parents too. I feel for you, and your difficult decisions. Although I am no faced with caring for a parent at this time, I have done it short term, when my father was ill, and also when my mother had her accident. It was difficult to say the least, as I was also caring for Noah too. But somehow, some way, all things will work themselves out. Your little guy is so adorable. My how quickly time flies!! And Tella....such a sweetie pie! I have all three of my little ones today, and the girls until Monday!!! I need some extra vitamins!!!!!

  7. That is a lot of hard things coming at you. I think you guys have worked lots out. How I wish I could have done that for my Mom.
    We all wanted too but she would have none of it.
    The agony I went through over this very hard issue.
    I know you all made the right decision. I do hope you have a great weekend and the pictures are great.

  8. OH! Debbie, I will be praying for you and your family as you make and adjust to these changes, my dh too, always has said "nothing stays the same,", and reading this certainly re-interate this for me, as I am one who doesn't like change. .I was inspired by the way you all have come together and decided how to take care of your mom. Oh! how right you are... "God remains stedfast and faithful." Always"..

    Now you girls get in there tonight and win a game for me. lol.
    As always Sam is so adorable,
    Enjoy your weekend

  9. I'm sorry your heart is burdened. I know that feeling, and it pretends that it'll never leave, or be better.

    I pray today is day of joy & adventure, relief. Besides, that adorable little guy is bound to threaten any woe that threatens.


  10. caring for aging parents is so difficult. i pray
    that the Lord gives you wisdom and grace for
    the days ahead. He will certainly grant that!

  11. Debbie
    Your g'children are just adorable!
    Oh, you are such a good daughter.
    I will be praying for all the adjustments that will be taking place in your life with your mom
    coming to kive with you. It won't be easy, but God will give you the grace I'm sure. I'm so glad you will have your weekends-it so important that you and your hubby still have your time together too.

  12. You're right, we never know what tomorrow brings. I didn't know I would be hospitalized last week while my mom was having her surgery. Your house sounds really nice and I'm sure you will find the room for everything and make everything work with your mom living with you. The pictures are really sweet! Enjoy your day Debbie!

  13. It is difficult caring for loved ones, our decision with my SIL was a no brainer, we had to move her closer to us, it meant starting over for her which was difficult for her and us. A year later we are all still adjusting but I know it was the only decision we could have made. It sounds like you guys have a good plan, your mom is blessed to have you and family that care so much
    Blessings t you

  14. I don't know why, and it doesn't make sense to us, but it seems as if God likes us to give out of our "poverty", like the Macedonian churches. He could have sent Elisha to a rich person, but instead He sent him to a poor widow, who had almost nothing to share. The boy had to share his lunch for one with thousands. I also think about the widow's mite, and Peter saying "Silver and gold have I none, but such as I have give I thee."

    God always multiplies our little offerings, and He also likes to get the credit. Having your mom in your small home will be hard, but also a blessing.

    Visiting from Janette's,



I am so glad that you would take the time to comment on my thoughts and feelings, it is such a blessing to me!