THE PROJECT THAT MADE ME QUESTION WHY I SEW....

Well it is actually done....the project that wouldn't die...the one that defied all odds of what might/could go wrong, lol.  Honestly it was one of those projects that makes me wonder what in the world I find fun or satisfying about any of this.  My daughter (who hears almost all of my musings rather they be positive, negative, or both!) has said to me (more then once btw), "Mom, I just don't get you.  This is your relaxation and fun you say, and your outlet for creativity, but you are OFTEN frustrated, perplexed, and at times downright annoyed as you sit ripping things out and striving to make something "just right" or even perfect. How is this fun?"  It has caused me to at least briefly consider rather or not there is any truth to her questions. I DO stress myself at times, and DO struggle and strive to make something the way I want it to be.  And as I have analyzed it, I KNOW there are some deeper reasons why I do, but at the end of the day it is who I am, at this season of my life anyway, and so I MUST press on.  Maybe it is because, as I have mentioned many times before, quilting and embroidering (at least by machine) are new to me and I want them to be as second nature as garment sewing is, and they just are't.  In fact, FAR from it.  I have sewn since I was 12 years old and have always enjoyed it.  I have ALWAYS wanted to quilt and somehow I just assumed I would have a step up on it as much as I have sewn, but in some ways I think it has made it harder.  Whenever I sew a garment, be it a shirt for my husband, a dress for a grand daughter or whatever it is, it is EASY for me now if I concentrate to make it perfect.  But I think I am forgetting the MANY MANY MANY shirts, dresses, collars, sleeves, and things that weren't.  How many times I threw something in the trash as it was finally beyond fixing.  Or stuffed it away in a cupboard or drawer and thought to myself, "I'll think about this later." How I could honestly be reduced to almost tears because I WANTED to do it, and yet struggled.  And then, finally, it all fell into place and became easy, and there was honestly no stopping me.  But now, after all these years, I am back to struggling.  Back to frustration and S L O W L Y learning something new, and now I am old, lol.  My body screams sometimes in protest, lol.  My neck and back and rear end can only take so much of sitting in the same position bent over my machine in my hard little wooden chair (a soft comfy one is on my "want" list).  And yet at the same time all I can think about is the things I want to make, and how little time there is to do it.  And so that's enough deep thinking and musing for right now, lol.  It is what it is.  So let me tell (I will try to be brief!) my recent dilemmas.  I had decided a lighthouse embroidery design would be perfect for my younger sister Danae.  She loves lighthouses, she loves the beach, and I had found the perfect one.  I did mention that it was a full blown picture (way more involved then most of the things I have done) and that my first attempt took 4 hours.  Well, I purchased 5 more threads, DOUBLE stabilized it, got a much nicer piece of fabric and set to work again.  I developed a system for all the color changes that really helped me keep track (don't know how I didn't think of this sooner!) and took my time.  I will say I did most DEFINITELY enjoy this part.  I have from the beginning.  Now that I know how to work everything, it is both relaxing and creative.  However (why did you know that was coming? lol) I sat in the little hard chair for 4 hours straight.  I don't think I even got up once to use the bathroom.  I was afraid of forgetting where I was and making a mistake and having to start over again.  And let me just say this, I would NOT have done this again.  However this one had come out was going to be how it was.  So needless to say, I was stiff, hurting, sore, but OH SO HAPPY!  It came out soo pretty.  Let me show you the design!

IT MAY  NOT LOOK THAT INVOLVED BUT THERE ARE OVER 35 COLOR CHANGES IN THIS DESIGN!  I USED THE SAME COLOR ONCE OR TWICE AS I HONESTLY COULDN'T SEE THE DIFFERENCE, BUT THERE WERE STILL A LOT.  I HONESTLY WISHED THERE WAS SOME WAY TO MAKE THE DESIGN BIGGER, BUT MY MACHINE IS NOT WIRED FOR THAT.  THIS IS THE CLOSEST I WILL EVER COME TO PAINTING AS I HAVE NO ARTIST ABILITY AT ALL.  SO THIS IS KIND OF LIKE PAINT BY NUMBER.  I'D PROBABLY MAKE IT EASIER ON MYSELF IF I JUST USED THE COLORS THEY TELL YOU TOO FROM THE COLOR CHARTS, BUT I AM KIND OF A REBEL TOO.

Then I had found some perfect "beachy" type fabric a while ago to make the rest of the pillow with.  Oh my, again, one thing after another went wrong.  Rip, rip, rip, and finally I actually cut some of it off with my rotary cutter.  I won't even tell you all that went wrong.  I will tell you this part, (though maybe I shouldn't) but I guess it is kind of funny.  The pillow cover was actually TOO small for the size of the pillow form I had bought.  A LONG story why.  But I had decided that pillow was going in there if it was the last thing I did.  I struggled, pulled, pushed, poked, and finally sat on it (not a slight weight I am btw) and it's in, lol.  I imagine if anyone had caught me perched on that pillow they might think I had finally cracked up, haha.  It is not exactly perfect ( still looks a little too full ~ might have to sit on it again!l) but honestly, I no longer care, lol  It is finally done.  Finally sitting in the chair waiting to be wrapped up for my sister.  But I think I will at least LOOK at it for a while before I do, lol.  Her room is in soft blues, and she has beachy type pictures on her walls in white frames.  I think this is going to look nice on her bed.  Let me show you this pillow.

A DEFINITE "TA DA" MOMENT!

LOVED THIS FABRIC AND IT IS SOO SOFT.  TO THINK THAT I HAD ONCE CONTEMPLATED QUILTED THE BACK WITH A COUPLE OF DIFFERENT COORDINATING FABRICS...yeah right, that was happening.

So there you have it.  My project that took all week, lol.  I guess I did take yesterday off as my sister Diane was here and we worked on her quilt.  OH MY GOODNESS it is ever going to be cute.  I will take pictures soon and share it's progress if she doesn't care.

Meanwhile, I actually won a giveaway on a quilting blog and won myself some darling Retro fabric.  Two big fat quarter bundles worth!  42 fat quarters in all.  I will share more on this later as I still need to run to the store.  I did get Melody's place mat finished too today so I can clean up my sewing mess and will be taking the next 14 days off!!  So for at least 14 days you won't be hearing any more sewing dilemmas or sob stories from me.  Hope you all have a wonderful week-end and are finding joy in your summers.  Blessings to you all!  Debbie