Friday, May 8, 2009

MOTHERHOOD.....

Millions of moms are getting ready to celebrate "their" day...I have to say that whoever thought this holiday up, was brilliant.....haha A whole day set aside where hopefully the mother calls all the shots and her children gather round to offer their love and appreciation to a woman who has given all she had to give....

Motherhood to me is a complicated vocation....It includes every emotion known to man...From pure bliss and joy to heartache and sorrow, and everything in between....I have been a mother now for a little over 36 years, which is WAY over half of my life, and my ENTIRE adulthood..lol To say I feel qualified to "blog" on this topic, would be putting it very mildly...In many ways, I feel it's has defined me as a person...It's just who I am....A Mom....and now...A Grandma...

When my children were little, time and sleep were things I never had enough of, and became a never ending quest of mine to achieve....I watch my two young daughter-in-laws now with their new babies and young families, and remember the days well. You go about your days simply somehow in motion taking care of the things that need to be done.....Middle of the night feedings, cranky teething infants, constant interruptions of simply EVERYTHING you do (including bathroom time), chasing little ones all over the house as they flew along getting into everything their little hands could touch, potty training, and on and on...There were days where I honestly thought, I'll never make it through...I'll never be just "Debbie" again, never sleep through a night uninterrupted, never be defined by anything other than..."mom"...But then one of their sweet faces would smile at me, or I'd watch them sleeping innocently in their beds, listen with pride as they began to talk and understand and my heart would swell with a love and a hope for them that cannot be described or understood by anyone who has not stood in those shoes...

As my kids became "school aged" I was sure I would again enjoy a freedom and possibly do some things that I had laid aside before, but, it didn't seem to happen...My days were now full of driving kids to various different schools, sporting events and practices, orthodontics appointments and birthday parties, and while at home CONSTANTLY washing clothes, cleaning bathrooms and cooking meals...Summer times were VERY ACTIVE at our house with supervising active kids as they swam, going to the beach, and breaking up fights they all had with each other, as brothers and sisters often do...These years, as I look back on them now, were full and active yes, but also enjoyable and rewarding. I cheered at so many different sporting events and games for every one of my kids, it was simply a part of life....I burst with pride as they enjoyed successes and achievements and dreamed of all that might become...I studied with them, drilling them all for tests and speech meets, and sat up with their dad while we worked feverishly to finish science fair projects on time, and sweated it out with them while we waited to see their scores and if they had "placed" in the competition....My kids certainly won their fair share of speech meets, and spelling bees and starred in many of the school plays and performances.....no one was prouder than I was....but these years seemed at the time to be never ending, and I was sure they would all live at home forever, and I would always be on a treadmill that never arrived anywhere.

But suddenly they were teen-agers, and driving cars, and getting jobs and having girlfriends and boyfriends, making plans for college or careers and at times making decisions and choices that made me wonder who had raised them...lol I spent sooo many of those years on my knees praying that God might protect them, and that they might reach adulthood in one piece and ready to live their own lives as responsible adults...I longed for the days when they were babies and little kids and I put them to bed at night and knew right where they were and that they were safe... but somehow these years seemed to fly by in a blur and suddenly they were getting married, and finishing school and beginning lives of their own...

All of my kids are married now, and are living happy, productive lives...Many days go by and I might not really even talk to ANY of them....They have children of their own and nothing gives me greater pleasure than "seeing" one of them in their kids...My house is often very quiet and the pool sits unused...I find lots of time on my hands now, and realized recently I FINALLY have the time to do something else with my life...problem is I find most of the time, I just miss how things were when they were all little and under foot, and long for the days when we were in the middle of it all...But then they all arrive with spouses and kids and the house again swells with noise and confusion and love...I enjoy these events and times more than I can explain, and look for excuses for having them here....I have dedicated a room in my house for my grand kids and have filled the closet with toys for them to enjoy while they are here. Shopping for new toys, and cute clothes for them is one of my favorite things to do...

I have been blessed more than I could ever express with four children I love beyond reason....My daughters-in-laws and son-in-law have become people I can't imagine living life without, and my grand children are my world. I thank God every day for all of them, and know now that I may never be defined by much more than being a Mom and a Grandma, but that's OK...they are roles I feel honored to have had.....

On Sun. I will post a blog dedicated to my mother and what it was like growing up as her daughter...How differently I view her now, as I have reached this stage in my life...How much like her I have become, and how much better I understand her....

To all the mom's in this family and reading this...I wish you a Happy Mother's Day...may God bless every one of us with love and patience and a appreciation for the role of MOTHERHOOD.....

1 comment:

  1. This was a stun, Deb. It doesn't seem possible that time has flown by as quickly as it has. We are now the seasoned veterans and our places have been filled by the next generattion. I thank God everyday for letting me be a mother and a grandmother!

    ReplyDelete

I am so glad that you would take the time to comment on my thoughts and feelings, it is such a blessing to me!