Well it is Thursday and my Melly has gone. What a week it has been. I feel like so many of my posts recently have been full of "deep" emotions and "deep" thoughts, and this one I am afraid will be no different. I guess that is just where this season in my life has me, and there is just no choice but to wade through to the other side. I am looking forward to the moment (that I KNOW is coming) when I can look back and remember how the Lord saw me through and His mercy and grace were abundant and plentiful.
Melody sat in the rocker in our room last night as I laid in bed, and the two of us talked and cried as we allowed ourselves the time to reflect back on not just this latest storm we have been through, but on all our years in this house, as it was to be the last time she would ever go to sleep under this roof. Together we remembered all the different ways we "decorated" her room over the years as it saw her through the various stages in her life. For the first 6 years her room was done in Precious Moments and I can see it all like it was yesterday; the wallpaper with the darling little "dolls" on it, the light yellow walls, and the fluffy white eyelet curtains blowing in the breeze. The rocker where I sat and nursed her, in NO HURRY to have this final baby grow up. As her elementary school years began, the theme of her room changed to sunflowers and what a perfect way to describe her during that time. She was such a happy, busy girl. From her little desk that was always neatly arranged with her books and drawing pencils, to the book shelf she began to fill with all her favorite books and collectibles. We changed it again when she reached age 11 and moved into her "pre-teen" feel. Now the colors were vivid blue and purple and we bought her a double bed as spending the night with her girlfriends became so important. Long games of "Barbie" with Jess, and the constant sound of giggling and whispering from happy girls sharing the secrets of life became the routine. Her room changed again as she moved through her high school years and the smell of candles and the sound of music often drifted through the door. It seemed as if her girlfriends were always there and the drama of life at this stage won't be forgotten soon I am quite certain. Her college years changed her room for the final time when we bought her beautiful "grown up" furniture complete with a queen sized bed and a GORGEOUS lavender and green comforter. Her room so reflected the woman she had become at that point; simple and yet somewhat elegant. I can so clearly see it all in my mind, but I wish I'd taken pictures of all the various different stages before we changed them. So many memories flooded our hearts when we thought back to all the holidays at this house, the birthdays, the moments of triumph and unfornately of sorrow. It has just held all the pages of the history of our life for soo long. We decided that even though it seems as if it is all coming to an end now, it really came to an end on her wedding day 2 years ago this last Tues. Her life has moved into the season of life she is so enjoying with her new husband, and ours is moving into yet another season of ours. I am excited for sure to get into the new house, and begin this time in my life, and yet such a major change for us all. When she comes again in mid July for Jessie's bridal shower, we should be all moved and settling in. We will have a whole new set of memories just waiting to be made. I am starting to feel a tiny bit better. Still a lot weaker than I would like, more emotional for sure and yet like I always tell my kids, "moving along". There is soo much that still needs to be done, and yet I am grateful that soo much has gotten done at the new house this last week. I am hoping to feeling up to going over to see for myself this week-end. This verse in Ecclesiastes keeps running over and over in my mind....it is just so true.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.
God will work out all of the details for everything that has happened and will happen in my life I am quite certain. He is faithful and His timing is perfect.
Mel with her roses that her hubby had delivered on their second wedding Anniversary June 8th.
Dearest Debbie, I'm so thankful to hear how you are doing and continuing to lift you up. I can so understand your emotions about leaving your old home for your new one-I don't think I reflected as much when we left our last home in Ca.-just the many loved ones I was leaving behind. Plus wanting to get to our new state in time for our oldest daughter to give birth to her fourth.
ReplyDeleteYour Mel is absolutely gorgeous-bet she looks just like you.
Keep me posted with prayer needs o.k.
Love & prayers,
Noreen
Dear Debbie,
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to share this beautiful post and the picture of your daughter. I am continuing to pray for your recovery and for your move.
Take Care!
What a beautiful daughter!
ReplyDeleteWe're in the process of a move, too. We don't leave Arizona until July 24, but there's so-o-o-o much to do to get ready for such a long move (to WA State).
I'm sorry you're not feeling well, and will keep you in my prayers. I can't imagine a move without one's full energy reserves available.
Bless you, sister,
Kathleen
Thanks for keeping us posted on how you are doing Debbie. I can't even imagine how emotional leaving your house must be for all of you. I bet it was really emotional for Mel knowing that she wouldn't be coming back to that house next visit.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Keep resting, and writing, and reflecting. We're here for you.
I hope I can write this through the tears...how precious and oh, how true. I hated leaving our home, but it was also a new season. There are still days full of emotions and they will catch me off guard, but as you said,"moving forward".
ReplyDeleteBlessings for sharing...still in my prayers daily, for all the wonderful plans God has in store for your future, Praise be to Him,
Janette
Beautiful girl your daughter is, thanks for the post and still praying for a quick and easy recovery, lots of love, Barbara
ReplyDeleteDebbie,
ReplyDeleteI was so blessed by reading all of the wonderful memories that you and Melly have made together. I know the emotions you both were feeling as we too moved from our home where we made wonderful memories and our daughter even though she was married felt as though she was losing something, but like you and Melly, we both came to realize that God had something better for both of us.
I am so glad that you are feeling better and that you will be getting stronger, please know I think of you so often during the day and stop and pray for
you. I am excited to find out all of the great things God is going to do through you,. He has gifted you with so many talents to be used for His Glory, I know how much you have enriched my life over this past year.
Much love going your way.
Sue
So thankful the pathology reports indicate you will not need any further treatment! I can relate to the guilt you described feeling in your previous post. Since I was diagnosed and then miraculously cured of lymphoma with only having surgery and no follow-up chemo or radiation, I've known of 2 other young women from my community who were diagnosed around the same time I was, but their paths were so different from mine. One had to endure years of tough treatment and hospitalizations before being well again, and the other died after a few years of treatment leaving behind two elementary-aged kids. I remember being flooded with tremendous guilt as I held the program at her funeral and stared at her picture, I wondered, "Why God, did you allow me to live and not her?" It took a while before I accepted that I just can't always understand God's ways; all I can do is try my best to glorify Him as long as I'm still here on this earth -- which you do so beautifully through your life! Praying for your strength to return and the details around the move. Such a gorgeous picture of your beautiful Mel!
ReplyDeleteHi Dear Deb,
ReplyDeleteI can really sense the depth of your emotions sweetie. Even though I still have 2 adult children at home and one 12 yo... and all the drama that goes along with that...I know that soon...very soon...they will be up and away just like Sam, my oldest.
Oh where do the days go?
What a precious time with Mel reminiscing...that probably wouldn't have happened if you didn't have this health issue, huh?
A silver lining for sure, and a tender sweet memory for years to come. God is so good.
I'm holding you close to my heart in prayer, Deb. May you feel God holding you close as you open another chapter in the book of your life.
Love you sweet friend,
Becky
P.S. Rest...rest...rest...I know how much you need it!!
Aw Debbie, such bittersweet feelings. I am so thankful that you are improving and feeling better every day. I know that good things are ahead for you. I am hoping to phone you sometime tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Will lift you up in prayer as well. What precious memories you have!
ReplyDeleteWow, what beautiful roses!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice way for you to recuperate with your daughter with you!
Praying for you daily!
Hi Debbie,
ReplyDeleteI have been out of town so I have missed your updates. You really do have a lot of emotions on your plate right now. It sounds like you have a great handle on them though, and a great support system. Hope your move is everything you are dreaming of, I know your great family memories will just keep on coming. Enjoy every bit of it, and keep feeling better.
Maryrose
What a sweet time with your daughter. I'm continuing to pray for your healing!
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to share this beautiful post and the picture of your daughter. I am continuing to pray for your recovery and for your move.
ReplyDeleteTake Care!
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You have been through so much. I'm sorry I haven't checked in with you in awhile. I'm glad you're doing so much better now. I know having your beautiful daughter with you helped a lot. The picture of her is just gorgeous. I pray you will be feeling totally well very soon.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Charlotte