~ having only got about 5 hours of sleep last night ~ so I am very sure that is adding to my scattered emotions. I've had several ways I've considered writing this post, but I decided again to just write from my heart and try to put to words how I am feeling.
Let me start by saying my mom is doing MUCH better and I am so grateful for your prayers. She has spent the last few days in a rehabilitation hospital working soo hard on trying to gain back some of the abilities she lost with her stroke. Reading continues to be the biggest struggle for her and there seems to still be no rhyme nor reason as to why one minute she can read a few words, and yet the next she struggles with the simplest of words. We are all encouraged that she will continue to get better every day, and yet at the same time it is very difficult to watch her struggle, become frustrated and grow weary so quickly. Things could have been so much worse of course, as many of those around her can only arouse your sympathies and concern. She did not make it to the wedding. She took it well, and accepted what she needs to do at this season in her life. My mom is much stronger than I think she thinks she is. She deals with what she must, and does the best she can. I have been at the hospital almost every day and I won't lie. It is difficult to get everything done I must do and spend all this extra time there as well. I am weary. It is hard for me to get around and do all the walking that it requires to get from one end of the hospital to the other, and the parking lot and back with my knees. My last doc. visit confirmed what I knew anyway. Replacement surgery is getting closer and closer. In fact, if not for my most recent surgery I would probably just schedule it and get it over with. But meanwhile, my legs hurt soo badly. It makes me feel MUCH older than I am, sigh, and at times makes me feel like I am not pulling my fair share of the responsibilities as I need to sit soo much. It is hard to be in pain everyday and not have it affect your attitude. But God's grace gives me the strength to do what I sometimes feel like I just can't. I am soo glad Melody was here and got to spend several hours with her Grandma (in between her Matron of Honor duties) just sitting beside her in her bed while she played with her hair like she did when she was little.
The wedding festivities started off Thursday with the Rehearsal and the Rehearsal dinner. Melody arrived LATE Wed. night so we went straight to bed when we got her home. Thursday morning we headed out to Upland to get my nails done (what a mess I was, haha) and then out to my son's house to collect Lindsey's things and pick her up at school. Mel & I were taking her to the rehearsal (she was one of the flower girls) as both Joe & Leah had to work. By the time we got back home it was time to get ready and head out for the wedding site. It was a LONG drive, lots and lots of walking (including from the site itself down the street to the restaurant for the dinner) and I was totally dragging by the time we were done. But it was SUCH a fun night. The dinner was sooo good. Truly some of the best food I have eaten in a long time. The excitement in the air was downright contagious. My youngest son and his family were also there as not only was Jimmy the minister who was to marry them, but Capri was also one of the flower girls. They just added to my pleasure of the evening. But by the time we got Lindsey back home and then drove home ourselves it was after midnight. We were both soo tired. The next Morning we popped up early and headed out to the hospital so Mel could spend some time with her Grandma before she headed out for the day with Jessica to finish off some of the last minute wedding chores. I stayed with my mom. Mel got back to the hospital late in the afternoon and we spent a couple more hours with my mom. Again by the time we were headed home we were both REALLY tired. We watched a little TV and headed off to bed. Sat. morning we again headed out to the hospital as this was the last time Mel would have to see her grandmother until her next visit which probably won't be until Christmas time. After a couple of hours there I took Mel to a nail salon where Jessica was waiting for her with her other bridesmaids for their mannies and peddies for the wedding. She was to spend the night with Jessie as her last night as a single girl. I headed back to the hospital. My hubby met me there and we spent the evening with my mom and stepdad. We actually played some dominoes and believe it or not my mother actually beat us all, haha...She did very well. Moved a little slower, took longer on her turn than usual, and tired after 4 rounds, but never made a single mistake. We headed home again tired and ready to drop into bed, KNOWING the next day would be a long one.
It's 10 pm and I promised myself to get to bed tonight at a reasonable time, so I will end this here. As soon as I get the chance I will write another post about the wedding itself. But I will say, it was truly spectacular. Jessica looked soo beautiful, and everyone had a wonderful time. My mother's absence was felt for sure, but she was with us in spirit for sure. I will leave with a teaser picture of my darling little grand daughters Lindsey & Capri in their adorable little flower girl attire...
Mel & her Grandma
Donatella walked up during the rehearsal and "posed" herself with the girls...haha...it was just adorable. She didn't know she wasn't one of them....Didn't realize I cut off Jessie's head trying to capture Donatella. Sorry, Jess, haha...look at how cute Jessie's shoes were though.